This week's panel suggested by:

Picture:

• Ross Horowitz
• Denis Moskowitz
• Wade Bowen
• Kean Soo
• Matthew Johnson
• Peter S. (sort of)
• Jason Fliegel (sort of)

Dialogue:

• Bill Schlimme
• Jeff McRorie
• Wade Bowen
• Chris Shumway
• Greg Lam
• Kean Soo (sort of)
• teemu korkiakangas (sort of)
• Peter S. (sort of -- again!)
• Jason Fliegel (sort of -- again!)

NOTE: From this list, one might conclude that Wade Bowen was the overall winner, but alas, "knife" and "liar!" were actually in two seperate suggestions!

WOW!

A TON of suggestions this week yielded one of my favorite panels so far! And a ton of VOTES for Carl's mom's name; the results of which can be found at the bottom of this very long page. (No Peeking).

As always, suggestions -- and votes -- are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again next Sunday!

--Scott
Sunday 12/12/1999

Bill Schlimme

• Mom screams: "Liar!" and gives him one last boot in the keister, not noticing that she's kicking him down the basement stairs.
• Mom: "I have been shamed by you for the last time, Carl! I am weary of making excuses for you to the ladies I play bridge with! Prepare to meet your maker!" Lifts an elephant gun, or something. Carl: "You mean Scott?" (Judicious editing recommended)
• Mom: "Never will I again be ashamed by you, Carl, or my name isn't [Fran or Ethel]!" Prepares to atomize Carl.

  Well, they aren't great suggetions, but at least I know they aren't!

Christopher Woerner

• Mom yelling, obviously not hearing him. "I'll kill you!"
• Carl runs back into the car. VROOM "I'm getting outta here!" OR "I may be drunk, but I've gotta drive."
• Close-up on Carl thinking "Jeez, it's not like Death's waiting around the corner for me."
• A smiling TV personality, standing in front of Carl and Mom. "Only with your support can we save Carl from a horrible tragic end!"
• A drawing of a large crowd of spectators in the stands. "KILL... KILL... KILL... KILL...."
• Maybe it's not his Mom. Maybe she's Carl's wife and Daisy's his mistress. If so, than she says "Til Death do us part." "Right," says Carl.
• Carl tries to stand up, but he knocks over a shelf, bouncing a large heavy object off his skull. "I drank, but I didn't drive--" BONK CRACK
• "Your father wants to see you. Now." Mom looks menacing.
• The Devil tells Carl "Quick, Carl come with me." Carl starts running over. "Okay."
• Close-up on Mom. She looks subdued, but moody. "Heh, famous last words."

  Ignorance can be overcome, but stupidity is forever.

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• FRAN

Tony

• Carl stumbles into the middle of the street On coming Car
• Carl stumbles into the middle of the street On coming elephant
• Carl stumbles into the middle of the street On coming Godzilla monster
• Carl stumbles into the middle of the street On coming squirrel
• Carl falls into a pit
• Carl falls into a sewer
• Carl falls into a well
• Carl falls into a small hat
• Carl falls into a glass of water (tight squeeze)
• Carl on the ground sees rattle snake "Gaaah"

  Hyper interactivity

Gary Lewandowski

• Carl's mom has kicked Carl into the street -- and into the path of a drunk driver.

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• ETHEL

dave

• carl ends up in the drunk tank.

adam ford

If people want to get hold of DUCK FAT, which has a twelve-page interview with Scott in it, they can send a money order for five US dollars or three UK pounds (postage included)made out to Adam Ford, to PO BOX 1297, NORTH FITZROY, VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA, 3068. If I have any spares lying around, I'll toss in a couple of my little comics as a free gift.

• Closeup of carl's head hitting the pavement, and a god-almighty CRACKing sound as his neck snaps.

  oh, yeah - my email address is ihaveseenthefish@jahoopa.com if people have questions about DUCK FAT.

[Adam's zine is a very cool digest-size zine. Get yours today! (Or, uh...in a few weeks, I guess). --Scott]

James Dominguez

I think I have a really good one... then again, I thought I had an even better one for that tricky four-way in section four. :(

• Carl is in the back of an ambulance, beer in hand, saying, "*Hic!* Now I can drink and drive!" Leads neatly into the death panel and the open panel.
• That old comedy standby - the open manhole. Maybe Carl says "Hey, trust me! I'm careful!" as he steps into space over the manhole.
• Daisy shows up, grabbing Ethel (well, that's the name I voted for) by the wrist, and says, "Hey, leave him alone!"
• Carl starts up a chainsaw. "I am _SO_ sick of you!" Actually... this one could be done with ANY weapon...
• Carl looks closely at a small bottle in his hand, thinking, "Hmmm, can I take painkillers and drive?"

  I don't like to make just one, though I have noticed most of the winning suggestions tend to be single suggestions, or from groups of two or three. Wish I had more self-control... Oh, I will be making an attempt at the 24 hour comic soon, when I get a free weekend. I came up with an idea from a couple of lines in a Tori Amos song, but I am trying not to think too hard about it, so it will be more spontaneous.

[How's this for spontaneous?: Right before you start, pick up a dictionary, close your eyes, open to a random page and point. Now open your eyes and use whatever you see as the title and/or premise. THEN try to work in Tori's lyric! --Scott]

Vote

• ETHEL

Scott Kinoshita

• Carl goes sprawling into the road, where he is in the path of some large, heavy oncoming vehicle. Driven by the Road Runner, or someone else funny (maybe even himself)

Dark Artist

Carl drives away from his mother and the car is about to crash into a tree. As this happens, he thinks to himself...

• "Oh well -- anything's better than going back home to mom!"

  This would supposedly be enough to kill him, as evidenced by the panel below, but who knows what'll happen in the next panel! Maybe the tree will be made out of rubber, or it could just jump out of the way!

Dark Artist

The mother stands there looking shocked as she sees Carl doubled over in pain.

• "Ackk! I'm bleeding on the inside!" says Carl. The mother replies, "How did THAT happen?"

  Carl either dies in the panel below, or heads to the hospital with mom in the next panel to the right.

Jason Arnett

I still like my last week's suggestions, but I've been waiting for three week for this one, I just saw it coming...

• A Blair Witch close-up of Carl with his Mom in the background. Carl: I just want to apologize to my Mom, and to Daisy. I'm gonna die out here!

the Marvelous Patric Lewandowski (™)

the ™ was suggested by my brother, the infamous Theory Slug of Doom.

• Carl, landing from the kick, ends up getting runnover by a very large semi.
• "Don't help! I've burst into flame!"
• meteor lands on carl.
• carl gets nuked.
• that "wascally wabbit"

  wabbits are wascally... of course, I guess this could count as a sluggy crossover, which was forbidden, right?

[Not forbidden, no. Doomed maybe, but not forbidden. --Scott]

Vote

• FRAN

Ross Horowitz

Woo hoo!! Sole credit! Now to embark on my comics career! Yes! Yes! Yes!!! Not only that, but I made that suggestion with the next panel in mind.

• Mom takes out knife, "I've had it with your promises!" Carl, "Mom!"
• Mom takes out wire hanger, "How many times have I told you..." Carl, "No, Mommie Dearest..."
• Mom takes out weapon and Carl makes exclamation. (Generic version.)
• Mom takes out axe, "I'll make sure you'll never drive again!"

Vote

• ETHEL

Michael Patrick

• Carl is tumbling down a flight of stairs. His mother is looking down at him. Carl: oof! Ouch! Mom: Oh dear!

Nat Gertler

SAVE CARL!

• Mom's got a gun. "You never keep your promises!"
• "We named you after my brother Carl who drank and drove, and you know where he is now?"
• "I guess I'll have to drink and unicycle instead!"

Vote

• ETHEL

Kevin Pease

• Carl's Mom screams, "Don't you dare talk back to me!" and beats him mercilessly. (To death, if you're reading the vertical.)

  There are exceptions to everything. I used "GAAH!" with two A's in a comic recently, and it worked where I think one or three would not have.

The Host

He should probably say,"whoops!" during incident.

• carl falls down a large flight of stairs, tumbling endlessly.

Markus Gerwinski

• Late at night: Carl is tumbling along a dark street, clothes greasy, muttering: "... REALLY, didn't - Hic! - drive..." On his way, a gang of bandits with knives, iron pipes, bicycle chains etc. are lurking in the shadows. (This panel would work independently from whether Carl had his little fight with Mom or only given the "promise".)
• Carl thinks/says: "... better take a walk." When leaving Mom's house, he is stepping directly towards an open sewer. (Would also work with both ones.)
• Carl, surrounded by whirly "drunk/confused" lines, shouts: "Watch out!", pointing to a T-Rex in Mom's back. (w.a.w.w.b.o.)
• Carl, entering an airport: "Alright, if I shall not drive, I'll FLY. -Hic!-" Drunk of determination, he goes to a helicopter. (wawwbo)

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• ETHEL

cat

ok, this is probably way too obvious and not terribly inventive, but i AM on "vacation" and all ;)

• Carl gets kicked into the street (last panel of "mom" kicking Carl) and hit by an oncoming car. if you want to be REALLY funny why not have said car driven by BRAIN BOITANO!!! ha!

  of course, i still think spontaeous combustion is NOT a bad plot device and could easily work in ANY plot development. but, hey, different strokes right? ;) tah tah!

[And a well deserved vacation it is! (Cat Garza's weekly Magic Inkwell strips will return in the New Year.--Scott]

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• FRAN

Vote

• FRAN

Travis Pelkie

whoa, that was a lotta suggestions to scroll thru. Gaah! (oh no, not funny!)

• Carl is kicked in front of a speeding car, perhaps with Daisy at the wheel. So he dies in one direction, and leaves neato possibilities for a new sequence. Although the transition from "promise" to carl in the street is rough.
• A meteorite hits, like in the Carl in the conclusion of UC.
• Carl's mom gets killed, somehow, cuz, I mean, the tombstone isn't necessarily Carl's now, is it? Maybe someone (perhaps Carl-baby) shoots at her, with one result--death!--and another result, the bullet flying off or something. And Carl's mom dying isn't any misogynist thing or nothing (just as Carl's death isn't misanthropic--just funny).
• I'm spent.

  I voted Ethel--nothing romantic sounding, like on that one George Carlin album (Occupation: Foole, i think). Rereading UC was quite interesting. I'm starting to question some of the things presented, but I think that the time and motion sections are great, and that the six steps is quite interesting--especially that the diagram of it is comics. Comics, sequence and causality all go hand in hand, man. I'll have to do some investigating into comics stuff over my winter break from school.

  oops

• just realized that the tombstone is Carl's, so scratch that one suggestion of mine, unless you wanna change that one panel, or have Carl's mom shoot him, or have a note that the tombstone had a misprint, or Carl couldn't afford to have the tombstone carver add " 's Mom" or something.

  Boy, do I feel dom--uh, dum, wait, no umm---ignorant.

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• ETHEL

Doug Waldron

Wow, athletic Mom.

• Car lays asleep in the middle of the road.
• Mom throttles Carl. "When I say something, I mean it! You think I'm talking just to hear myself talk?" Carl's head: "wobble wobble wobble"
• Carl, drunk, in a taxi. To taxi driver: "Hey, can I drive?"
• Carl hitchhiking: "Hey, someone's stopping." Driver looks appropriately menacing.
• Secret Service agent, peering through binoculars: "Okay, he's leaving the building. As soon as you get a clear shot, take him out."
• Two aliens appear in front of Carl. First alien: "WE'LL give you a ride, human." Second alien is salivating.
• Caption: "Meanwhile..." View from the helm of alien spacecraft. Planet Earth is centered in a set of crosshairs. Leader alien: "FIRE!"
• Carl: "C'mon, Mom. Let's share some yogurt. It's only three weeks past the expiration date!"

  This strip really does need more aliens.

Denis Moskowitz

• Maniacal looking mom with a knife, saying "I can never trust you, Carl! You never keep your promises!" Carl quakes in fear.

Vote

• FRAN

Vote

• ETHEL

Mike Sugarbaker

• Carl has passed out on the lawn. A Pizza Planet delivery truck is screeching over the curb, on a collision course with Carl and his front door. Optional: delivery boy leans out the window screaming "Late pizza! Comin' throo!" or something similarly pithy and wise (perhaps something Snow Crash-related).

[Aaah, Snow Crash... what a terrific book. I'm told it was originally planned as a graphic novel. If true, it's our loss. --Scott]

Mike Sugarbaker

• Thought of this a second too late: better make that a beer delivery truck. Of course, Carl's dad is at the wheel.

Vote

• ETHEL

Jeff McRorie

• Mom has both hands wrapped around Carl's neck -- "LIAR!!" Carl's eyes and tongue bulge out of his head. Poor, poor Carl.

Gregg Lamse

• Carl is standing in the middle of the road, and is hit by a large truck.

Vote

• FRAN

Vote

• ETHEL

Peter S.

• Carl's Mom, on left side of panel, holding a weapon: "You've lied to me for the last time, Carl!" We see Carl's face in the bottom right corner of panel. Naturally, he is completely bewildered.

Jason Fliegel

• Carl's Mom (whether she turns out to be Fran, Ethel, or, my idea, Bernice) pulls out a knife, gun, or some other weapon. "I don't believe you, you lying @!*$#!" she tells Carl.

[Bernice, eh? Guess I should have asked for nominations first! --Scott]

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• FRAN

dan wheeler

• carl: "I'm beginning to get a little sick of your attitude, mom."
• carl is running away and sniveling like a little baby. he mutters to himself "I hate her! i'm gonna run away and then i'll die. i'll die in a ditch because she was so mean to me. Then she'll be sorry!"
• carl: "mom, you are such a bitch!"
• carl's mom: "if you ever, EVER talk back to me again, so help me, i'll kill you." carl: "but, mom i..."

Vote

• ETHEL

Jay Brown

• The standard "CRASH" into a tree, but we only see the starburst and words, no car.
• Carl's mom punches him -- hard -- yelling, "You never listen to me!!!" Or, she could use a baseball bat.
• Carl in hospital bed and doctor telling Carl's mother, "His liver just couldn't hold up any longer..." Carl might be flatlining on an EKG. Even better, "His liver just couldn't handle that kind of abuse." which could mean it had to process too much alcohol, OR that Carl's mom had kicked him too hard in the gut.
• Carl sneers, "I'll lay off the booze if you stop popping amphetamines."
• Carl vows, "I swear I'll go to my grave without another drop of alcohol!"

Vote

• FRAN

Markus Gerwinski

I forgot the obvious one:

• Carl runs, leaving behind some "drunk" bubbles, a bud can in his hand, followed by Mom, who raises an axe, shouting: "YOU PROMISED!" (wawwbo)

  Scott, I noticed that from section 4, up to now, you don't get to the suggestions lists for the panels. Is there a reason? (Besides lack of time?;-)

  I also have a question on 24-hour-comics: Does a "chapter-title" page with only one panel count as a full page? (Still hope to do my own 24-hour-comic this year...)

[I fixed those broken links, Markus. Thank you for pointing that out. As for 24 hour title pages, I suggested doing one then shooting for 24 full pages. That way, if you're a page short at 11:58 p.m or whenever, you have a spare! --Scott]

Dylan Graham

Die Carl, die! Long live Carl.

• Mom, drunk in the car, says "Good, 'cause it's MY turn!" Carl screams wordlessly as she runs him over.

  Scott, you wrote that "Understanding Comics" was intended not as a final truth but as the start of a discussion so I'm going to advance an idea. [.] [?] [*] [!] This a formula for a very simple four panel comic strip: Statement, Inquiry, Expansion, Punchline. Here is an exaple: Panel one [statement] Character one: I don't want to go to my dad's birthday party. Panel two [inquiry relating to previous statement] Character two: Don't you like birthday parties? Panel three [expansion of statement, answer to inquiry] Character one: Yeah, I love the cake and the presents... Panel four [punchline] Character one: ...But I hate my dad! Admittedly that isn't a very funny example, but following that form one can dissect the daily strips from any newspaper. The order is fairly flexible. For instance, you could have [.][.][.][!] as the formula for a very ruminative strip (a la "Calvin and Hobbes"). Well, that was as concise as I could make it and I still feel like I'm overloading your "Comments" field. :)

[Sounds pretty solid to me. What does everyone else think? The idea might be worth posting on tcj.com's message board too. --Scott]

Vote

• ETHEL

Mr. ?

• Carl lands neck first into the stairs
• same as above, but his beer smacks him in the head as well.
• Same as the first one, but his mother saying, "My baby! Oh, what have I done?"
• Same as above, but with Daisy standing on the driveway.
• Carl! En Fuego!
• Carl's head sticking out of the closed Garage door saying "Hello (hic) Daisy" to a stunned Daisy
• Carl flies into the closed garage door, where only his head goes through..
• Carl's mom force feeding a horrified Carl beer saying "You like booze so much? Well you're going to drink these twelve cases of it!" (of course what Homer did with Bart's cigar problem won't work as well using alcohol...)
• Same as above, but Carl looks strangely happy.
• Now, my attempt at the most disgusting caption: Enter 'breast milk'

Vote

• FRAN

Catt Jan Roxxanne

• Mom strangles carl and screams "No more excuses!!!"
• Carl swallows a suicide pill and screams "IF I CAN'T LIVE THE WAY I WANT TO LIVE I WON'T LIVE AT ALL!!"
• "gahhhh! Sudden heart attack!!"

Vote

• ETHEL

Wade Bowen

• mom yelling "liar!" at carl, and continuing to beat him to a posibly bloody pulp. too bloody might be a little overkill, you can leave that out if you feel so inclined.
• mom: Well, I'm gonna make sure you don't! she wrings the life out of his scrawny little neck.
• mom holding a gun or other implement up to carl, knife maybe. A tear running down her face. "You know I hate it when you lie to me."or"you know it just kills me inside when you lie" Or she could be choking him again.

  though I don't condone infanticide(or whatever you'd call it. I guess it doesn't count when they're grown up) you gave really little choice here. Also, a group of my friends and I decided we were going to do some 24 hr comics, but I just realized tonight what a terrible artist I am with no clue where to start. We'll see how/if they turn out.

[As for where to start, see my dictionary suggestion above. As for the "terrible artist" part, actually many excellent 24 hour books have been done by writers with limited art skills. Anyway, you never know 'til you try! --Scott]

Chris Shumway

Hmmm... this one's tough...

• Carl stumbles onto a road, beer in hand, right into the path of an oncoming car. Maybe he's grumbling about not being able to drive.
• Carl, as he is tossing some pills in his mouth, "I guess I'll have to take these instead."
• Carl, with a gun to his head, "This'll show her!" (Boy I read too many "Maakies" tonight)
• Carl is waiting impatiently at a bus stop. "I'll die from old age before the bus gets here."
• Carl's mom is strangling or kung fu fighting him, shouting "Liar!"
• Carl's mom is strangling or kung fu fighting him, shouting "How dare you talk back to me!"
  
  This is more of a meta-suggestion: it might be nice to automatically pop up a second window to enter suggestions, so that we can look at the comic at the same time. Or possibly frames. Or I could just make the effort to open a second browser on my own.

[It's a good suggestion. Consider it done. ('Cause I just did it.) --Scott]

Mark D. Schlatter

• Carl, clearly drunk, says "Fine, I'll take the bus!", as the bus in question barrels towards him at high speed.

Vote

• FRAN

teemu korkiakangas

• Daisy, drinking and driving, runs over Carl & mom
• Carl, now 90 years old: "Mom sure gave me a good lesson..."
• Mom points a shotgun at Carl and yells: "I'm sick and tired of your lies!"

Vote

• ETHEL

Kristof Spaey

• His mom sitting on his torso beating him to death yelling: 'bastard!' maybe in the left corner a little picture of Kyle yelling 'Oh my god, you killed Carl!'

Vote

• ETHEL

Travis W. Howard

Ugh, my self-imposed exile is now over.. Having meditated for the last few weeks, I have formulated the One True Plan (tm) for the Society for the Creation Of the Travii Takeover! or SCOTT! for short. >From our humble beginnings at a "funny book" page, to the worldwide conspiratorial organization it is today.. oh hell who am I kidding.. onto suggestions..

• C.A.R.L. (Carl's car who we previously saw *hic* zaps "Mom" with his headlight laser and says "Whew! *hic* That was a closh one Michae, er, Carl" (Carl's vaporized as well)[Could you animate the red Cylon looking LED on the front of the car??]
• Closeup of Carl holding head, screaming "ARGH! *hic* Aneurysm!!!"
• Closeup of Carl doubled over holding stomach.. "Liver Saturated.. Oh the humanity!!"
• Carl with a surprised look on his face says, "I'm flying!!"
• Outside of Carl's house, Mom in background, showing Carl in the middle of the road and a car rapidly approaching towards him.
• Closeup of Carl thinking "What does she know??"
• Closeup of Carl thinking "I *REALLY* need a drink now."
• Closeup on Carl, thinking, "This never happens to Gary Coleman"
• Closeup on Carl, thinking, "This never happens to Brian Boitano"
• Closeup on Carl, hysterical, shouting, "The pressure! I can't take it anymore!!"

  Submitted for your approval.. The Carl/Garth Ennis 24HR Comic Process.. For each page you complete, take another drink. Example, Page 1 take a drink, Page 2.. take two drinks.. Fun for the whole family! See how far you can get! Over 10 pages gets you a guest appearance in a Garth Ennis written book! I actually toyed around with the idea of tweaking the 24 hr to allow for sleep, but making up for the "lack of sleep factor" with lots and lots of caffeine to see if it'd affect the output.

Vote

• ETHEL

Vote

• FRAN

Jesse Rimler

A tad sick:

• Fran/Ethel is standing over Carl with a gun. Carl is stumbling on the ground with a beer bottle in hand. Fran/Ethel: You have disobeyed me for the last time, son.

  I have 20 bucks down on "Fran" by the way. (crosses fingers.)

[Well, um... Easy come, Easy go... --Scott]

Travis Pelkie

• Carl lying (or is that laying?) drunk in the road. I know, it's like another of my suggestions, but it sums it up better. Oh yeah, a car is barreling down at him.

  According to the person who graded my paper on Ghiberti's doors, I've gotta be careful to not say that all sequential visual narratives are comics. What do you think, are they? And what do you think about continuous narrative (ex. Masaccio's Tribute Money, Ghiberti's Jacob and Esau panel) where the story takes place in the same "space" so to speak? I must know all there is to know about comics! Like that's gonna happen.

Daniel M. Laenker

A door slams. Carl has a notable injury that could be seen as probably, but not necessarily drinking-related (black eye? bumps on head? stars on ass?)

• From behind the slamming door, his mother shouts: "Yeah, and why should I believe a DAMN THING YOU SAY?!?"

Matthew Johnson

Hmm, only one panel from cradle to grave...

• Mom goes after Carl with her kitchen knife. Mom: You can't drink and drive - if you're _dead_!
• Carl trips and falls down an empty manhole to his death (or not - the next panel to the right could have him in a sewer, or the Kingdom of the Mole Men, or whatever).
• Carl holding an open bottle and a lit cigarette, while bursting into flame (the booze is spilled all over him). Carl: Okay, I'll drink and smoke instead!

Matthew Johnson

Hmm, only one panel from cradle to grave...

• Mom goes after Carl with her kitchen knife. Mom: You can't drink and drive - if you're _dead_!
• Carl trips and falls down an empty manhole to his death (or not - the next panel to the right could have him in a sewer, or the Kingdom of the Mole Men, or whatever).
• Carl holding an open bottle and a lit cigarette, while bursting into flame (the booze is spilled all over him). Carl: Okay, I'll drink and smoke instead!

[Ooh, Deja Vu... --Scott]

[Actually, that happens to a few posts every week. I just forgot to delete the dupe and I'm too lazy to change the rest of the colors! --Scott]

Addison Godel

• Carl's Mom (or Dad): I've had enough! I'm gonna KILL that boy!

Greg Lam

• Mom's choking the life out of Carl. Mom: LIAR! Maybe some cool animation here.

Emo

Nyah-hah-hah!

• His mom kicks him out on to the street, and before he can get up, he gets run over by a semi! (Or other desired automobile) honk honk!

  I read "Understanding Comics" and I liked it very much! Bye, Chauncey!

Benjamin Rod

Last night of Hannukah. Damn. Definately a reason to give this a shot.

• Carl, seen from back, walks away rubbing his head mumbling, "Lousy piece of sh-" but fails to see a broken bottle being thrown at his head (perhaps Manischewitz) or to hear his mother muttering, "Ungrateful little fu-" from off panel.

  Live it up. Word to Manischewitz!

Vote

• FRAN

Morgan Doninger

Go tell Veronica, it's time to celebrate Chanukah.

• MOM (Fran, Ethel, Other?) produces a shotgun, and points it at CARL's head. MOM: "You stinkin' liar..." CARL: "Mom! (Ethel!, Fran!, Other!) Nooooo!"
• MOM (F,E, or O) is beating CARL with a wire hanger. MOM (FAYE, JOAN, OTHER): "I'll teach you to lie!"
• MOM (F, E, or O),brandishing a hanger, chases CARL, who is now trying to escape on a tricycle and he falls into an open manhole. CHILD'S VOICE OFF PANEL (CALVIN, LINUS, OTHER): "My trike!"
• MOM (F, E, or O) snaps Carl's neck like a twig. MOM (BRUCE LEE, JACKIE CHAN, or OTHER): "You dishonor me."
• MOM (FEO) impales CARL with a broken bottle. MOM (O HENRY, A MORRISETTE, or OTHER): "Isn't that ironic?"
• MOM (FOE) and CARL (if that is his REAL name) are run over by a drunk driver.

  Wow, that must have been the flu medication talkin' there. If I win, I'll have to post Tylenol's website.

Jimmy

Only 13 shopping days left until X-Mas. Buy More.

• Mom (Fran/Ethel) swinging down baseball bat, going "Yarghhh!!"
• Later: Dr. Nic Rivera: Sorry Carl. Your liver has completely shut down.
• Later: Mom talking to Dad and Daisy at Carl's wake: ...and he was doing so well in AA...
• Carl: How about I stop drinking and start heavy drugs?

  This last suggestion brought to you by D.A.R.E. Hey Scott, did you see "Being John Malkovich"? What did you think?

[What a year for movies! Yes, I loved Being John Malkevich. Other favorites: Run Lola Run, Eyes Wide Shut, Toy Story 2 (every bit as good as the original, which I felt was robbed at the Oscars), Iron Giant, The Sixth Sense (!!) and the spectacular Princess Mononoke. And that's just off the top of my head! --Scott]

Kean Soo

• Shot of Mom's arm, holding a knife, Psycho-style. Carl is stabbed out of frame. Carl: "Mother? Mother...? Arrrrrgghh!!"
• Mom drags Carl into the car with her. Mom: "Let's see how YOU like it when I drink and drive!"
• Mom holding a knife (yet again). She's about to stab Carl (again). Mom: "You lied to me!!"

And the winner is...

• ETHEL - 25 votes
  
  
• FRAN - 12 votes
  
  

Thank you for voting!

--Scott