This week's panel suggested by Howard Ian Schiller with similar ideas from J.J. Reinhart, Piers Beckley, David Goldfarb, James Riley and Taper Wickel, with dialogue by Howard and Mr. Muggs.

A Carling We Will Go...

(or: "Hannukarl, Hannukarl, come light the Menorarl..." Happy Eighth Night!)

Some new developments in Carl Land. Jason Fliegel's suggestion of last week has turned out to be a hit with many of you, and (with the obvious exception of Neil Gaiman's death-flip from last section) is the only suggestion I can remember actually garnering fan-mail from other contestants in the body of their own suggestions. Very interesting! I've also noticed a ramping-up of the running-joke patterns and a growing fan club for Winter (age 3) and her memorable "Prish" post. Finally, a reader we know only as "allen" has made it clear -- much to my terror and delight -- that you really can paste anything you want in that little box. What a week!

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again next Sunday!

Sunday 12/20/1998

Ben Jeddrie

  • She should say something to the effect of " I'm the Sobriety Fairy" or somethin


  • Show Carl and mom in a hut with weird masks and trinkets hanging on the walls, have mom dressed up in a long black robe and saying: "CARL! You know better than to talk to your tribal Mother like that-!"

Addison Godel

  • Carl's Mom rips off face with a flourish, revealing a hideous bearded man. "Take a guess!' Carl: (terrified) "Pirate Joe! We meet again!"

    Randomness strikes. I have no idea what this could possibly have to do with bungee cords, but mine is not to wonder why. I like the idea of Carl having an old, unknown nemesis, anyway.

dan wheeler

  • carl's mom bursts into tears
  • carl's mom rips her face off to reveal that she's carl (with a goatee ala an evil twin)
  • carl's mom slaps carl


  • She should say back to Carl, "I'm your mother."

Christopher Ekman

  • Carl's mom rips off disguise, stands revealed as winged Carl. "I might ask YOU the same question!" he booms in a faux-Batman manner. Carl I sweats.

    The next panel would have to be Carl I attempting to escape by lunging for a cord dangling outside his window.

J.J. Reinhart (who will, of course, be coming back every week, for ever!)

  • The woman narrows her eyes and says "I am no one to be trifled with."
  • She whips out a walkie-talkie and says, "Mayday, mayday! The plan has failed! Request reinforcements!" (If you can fit all those words in these tiny panels!"
  • "I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you."
  • A startled Carl is now facing a yucky, tentacled, Cthulhu-esque beastie (grinning if possible), who replies, "You asked."
  • "Oh, so you know."
  • She says, "Oh, so you know," as she reaches up and begins tearing off her face to reveal...well, that's at the discretion of next week's submitters. ;-)

    Oh, and I too am looking forward to the second bit of the Chess tale.

Big fan

  • Carl saying "I'll strangle you,bitch!" with a rope(?) wrapped around his hands ready to strangle the poor lady.

Thomas Dougherty

  • Carl's Mom?... "I'm a brain-eating Zombie!"
  • "I'm gonna get a drink!"
  • "Oh, my God! Who am I?!!"

[Thomas was one of several brainstormers this week who offered kind words and extensive feedback on "My Obsession with Chess" following his suggestion. Thank you to all who visited my latest experiment and offered your thoughts. Believe me, it means a LOT! --Scott]

Drew Hart-Shea

    Many thanks to Jason for the last panel, It's one of my favourites so far, made me laugh loads...

  • panel same as before, but the woman is handing Carl a large coil of rope. She says: "I'm the mother-look-alike dominatrix you ordered to indulge your Oedipal fantasies you twisted man. Here, tie yourself up..."

    This suggestion was inspired by the fact that some people felt the woman was Carl's wife, and others that she was his mother

    Note: rope=link to bungee moment..?

Stéphane Lussier

  • Carl narrates the scene to the reader: "That's when I decided to rebel". Close up on carl's face showing an almost evil desire of subversion. You could also add: "I was 26."

R David Francis

  • "Mom" says: "I knew this day would come..."

    Makes a lovely set-up for many options coming out of the next branch!

Elan Trinidad

  • Zoom out: The two are in some sort of department store. Woman(a): "I'M THE STORE MANAGER." (b): "WANNA BUY A BUNGEE CORD?"
  • The woman looks confused. WOMAN: "I DON'T KNOW, WHO ARE YOU?"
  • The woman rips her face off revealing her real identity. "WOMAN": "I'M AGENT J. SLICKNESS: MASTER OF DISQUISE!"
  • The woman rips her face off revealing Scott McCloud. Scott: "I AM YOUR GOD! AND YOUR GOD COMMANDS YOU TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE AS A TEST OF THY FAITH!!"

Howard Ian Schiller

  • Mom (or girlfriend, depending on what you read...) changes into a hideous monster with fangs and claws. Looming over him she says "I'm your worst nightmare!...

Tim Maly

  • Woman (hands him dossier and backpack): "I'm your commander, agent Carl!"

Avery J. Cohen

  • The woman's body language shows hurt, but her expression is angry. "You ran over my son on your last binge!"
  • Or, if you are more in a more fanciful mood, "You _killed_ me on your last binge, Carl!" She menaces Carl with her pointy fangs and her hands turning into claws.
  • "Why, I'm your mother, Carl... and your girlfriend!"

    Sorry, that's an in-joke for the participants, after having read through last week's list of entries. (FYI, I'm one of those newbies who found this site after hearing about the new on-line comic, which I enjoyed very much.)

Kenneth Applebaum

  • Carl's mom rips off her own face, revealing Darth Vader's helmet underneath. "Carl... *coohaaah*... I am your father... *coohaaah*..." Carl yells, "It's not true! I'll never join you!!" (This could lead to Carl getting pushed off a ledge by a lightsaber, then getting saved by the bungee cord, and yadda yadda... or would we then have a copyright suit on our hands?)
  • Carl's mom says, "I'm the new spokesmother for MADD, Carl. If I can't enforce our rhetoric in my own home, where can I?"
  • Carl's mom says, "Damn! You saw through my disguise; I should have remembered your mom was an unrepentant lush. My KGB superiors will kill me now... unless I kill you first!"

    Hey Scott, can I put on my resume now that you've drawn something I've written? ;)

[Go for it. --Scott]

Piers Beckley

  • Carl's mum peels off her face to reveal:
    -- A many-tentacled monstrosity! Monstrosity: Your doom, earthling!
    -- Another Carl! Carl 2: Your evil twin!

Jonathan L. Miller

  • Mom says, "Your personal trainer, you alcohol-ridden sot! Now get out there and do those exercises!" Carl hops to it.

    Alternately, replace "personal trainer" with "extreme sports instructor." ;-)

Avery J. Cohen

  • She's got a gun! Holding a gun in one hand, she ties up a worried (and sweating) Carl. (We've got to set up some rope for the final panel, don't we?)

    Angrily: "I will not be forgotten!"

    Carl: "But who _are_ you?!?"

colin roald

  • A completely different woman interrupts to repeat the demand, "Promise me won't drink and drive, Carl." There is a third woman in the background, approaching. Carl looks freaked out and surrounded.
  • Woman: "Carl! You haven't been taking your medication!" He's trying to leave, but she grabs him and tries to drag him towards the bathroom, where a large pill bottle is visible.

    Cool concept, but pretty darn surreal.


  • You are the one who's driving me into drinking!

David Goldfarb

    Way to go, Jason! A funny twist that can have numerous neat followups. Here's a few:

  • We thought it was Carl's mom -- but she tears a mask off her face to reveal a bald head! Saying, "I'm Lex Luthor, the greatest criminal mastermind of our time!" (Or it could be "Rex Rutha" to avoid trademark problems.)
  • ...she tears a mask off, revealing a horrible alien face! She says, "So you've discovered our invasion plot, eh, Earthling? Well, it'll do you no good!" (Maybe she decks Carl or zaps him with a ray gun as she says this.)
  • ...she tears a mask off, revealing a strangely familiar stylized cartoon face. She says, "I'm Scott McCloud!" (ok, maybe not.)
  • Carl's mom bursts into tears. Two doctors with clipboards look on through one-way glass. One of them is saying, "You see? A rare case -- no long-term memory at all!"
  • She says, "I'm your mother, dear. Now why don't you go hang yourself."
  • We pull back to show Carl and his "mom" on a TV production set. The director yells, "Cut, cut! Cripes, Benny, how many times have I told you -- NO ad libs!"


  • "I am outta this dump!" Carl yells and slams the door.

George Broderick, Jr.

  • Close-up on the woman. The woman says "I am Atropos, one of the three Fates, and I have seen the cord that is your life!"

M. Robert Turnage

  • Profile shot of the two people facing each other. The lady replies, "You don't know how much that hurts, Carl." Carl feels guilt.

frank episale

  • "i told you never to ask me that. now i have no choice..." she reaches up and begins to remove her face.
  • He has a boa loa roa hoa, then he needs to get a prish of soda. Then he says "a pree a pree, a ree a ree".


  • Close up on Carl's face-shadowy with spooky lighting from above- "Who are any of us...really?"
  • Carl has the woman in a headlock- He has removed a mask or wig from her head (and she turns out to be a man in disguise). "My real mother is a WOMAN!"
  • Pull back to see woman is a Gypsy/Fortune teller. With a crystal ball or Tarot cards "Beware young one...Your death awaits..."

Doug Waldron

  • "Why, I'm your fairy godmother," as she sprouts wings. (Thus turning the winged person into a motif.)
  • Pull back to reveal Carl and "Mom" as actors on a set. Director: "Carl if you can't remember the line, just say 'Line!'"
  • Scene: Outside an insane asylum. Caption: "Meanwhile..." Word balloon: "Oh no, 'Marge the Ripper' has escaped again!
  • "Mom": "A Pree! A Pree! A Ree! A Ree!"

Dark Artist

  • "I'm a spokesperson for MADD. Please don't kill yourself by drinking irresponsibly," the woman says. Carl is disoriented.

Michael Avolio

  • She says, "You don't remember?" or "Don't take that tone with me!" or "Unless you're looking for a fight, don't yell at me!"
  • She rips off her "face" (really a mask) to reveal... She's really Carl himself? Or another Carl? Or Scott McCloud? Or a giant pink elephant?

Eben Matthews

  • "Mom" Says-"I'm Your Fairy God Mother"

James Riley

  • Mother explodes into earth-eating monster, tentacles and such, saying, "I'm the Earth-Devouring Carlnex 5 from Rigel 4!"
  • Mother removes mask to reveal:
    1) Carl himself, saying, "I'm you, only female!"
    2) Jimminy Cricket, saying, "I'm your conscience!"
    3) A man, saying, "What, you don't recognize your own father?"
    4) Scott Mccloud, saying, "How did I end up in here?"
  • No mask this time, just the mother slapping Carl, saying, "I'm your mother, idiot!"
  • Mother says, "I'm your time-lost great-grandchild, here to save your life!"

    That's about all I can think of for this one.

Nick Distler

  • Mom, now wearing a cowboy hat, says: I'm the international cattle roping champion!

Mr. Muggs

  • I think Carl's mom should have a tight cord wrapped around her hands menacingly while she says " I'm your worst nightmare!" As if threatening to strangle Carl.

Patrick Downey

  • woman: "I'm your Guardian Angel, Carl!"
  • woman: "I sell camping supplies. I want your trip to be safe!"
  • woman: "I'm your Adventure Club representative. I want your bungee jump to be as safe as possible"

Jon Delorey

  • Mother says "Karl, I've got this SPECIAL bungee cord"
  • Mother tells Carl he was adopted
  • Mother says "I'm the one who stole you from the hospital when you were born".

Pete White

  • Woman: Don't you remember your own... wife, girlfriend, bungee jumping instructor, etc.
  • While clutching her heart and dying: Woman: You don't remember your own mother?
  • Woman tears off mask to reveal herself as Carl's twin.
  • Carl: Where am I? What's going on?
  • Carl: I'm going to do something fun for once.


    Well, let me see . . . The earliest known manuscript version of the tale is from the 12th century, but the time period in which the story takes place seems to be around the beginning of the Christian era. This text and the Index to Proper Names are from N. Kershaw Chadwick, An Early Irish Reader.


    There was a famous king of Leinster. Mac Dathó was his name. He had a hound; the hound defended the whole of Leinster. The hound's name was Ailbe, and Ireland was full of its fame. Messengers came from Ailill and Medb asking for the hound. Moreover, at the same time there came also messengers from Conchobar Mac Nessa to ask for the same hound. They were all made welcome and brought to him in the hall. That is one of the six halls that were in Ireland at that time, the others being the hall of Da ! Derga in the territory of Cualu, and the hall of Forgall Manach, and the hall of Mac Dareo in Brefne, and the hall of Da Choca in the west of Meath, and the hall of Blai the landowner in Ulster. There were seven doors in that hall, and seven passages through it, and seven hearths in it, and seven cauldrons, and an ox and a salted pig in each cauldron. Every man who came along the passage used to thrust the flesh-fork into a cauldron, and whatever he brought out at the first catch was his portion. If he did not obtain anything at the ! first attempt he did not have another. section 2 Now the messengers were brought to him in his place that he might learn their requests before the feast. They delivered their message: "We have come from Ailill and from Medb to beg the hound," said the messengers of Connaught; "and there shall be given three score hundred milch cows at once, and a chariot and two horses, the best in Connaught, and their equivalent gifts at the end of a year in addition to this." "We also have come from Conchobar to ask for it," said the messengers from Ulster; "and Conchobar's value as a friend is no less-and to give you treasure and cattle; and the same amount shall be given you at the end of a year, and close friendship will be the result." section 3 Thereupon our Mac Dathó lapsed into total silence and in this way he was a whole day(?) without drink, without food, without sleep, tossing from side to side. Then his wife said to him: "You are making a long fast. There is food beside you but you don't eat it. What ails you?" He gave the woman no answer, so the woman said: "Sleeplessness fell upon Mac Dathó at his home. There was something upon which he was brooding without speaking to anyone. "He turns away from me and turns to the wall, the warrior of the Fían (?) of fierce valour; it causes concern to his prudent wife that her husband is sleepless." The Man: "Crimthann Nia Nair said: 'Do not tell your secret to women.' The secret of a woman is not well kept. A treasure is not entrusted to a slave." ! The Woman: "Even to a woman you should speak if nothing should be lost thereby. A thing which your own mind cannot penetrate the mind of another will penetrate." The Man: "The hound of Mesroeda Mac Dathó, evil was the day when they sent for it. Many tall and fair-haired men will fall on account of it. The strife about it will be more than we can reckon. " Unless it is given to Conchobar it will certainly be a churl's act. His hosts will not leave behind them anything more of cattle than of land. ! "If it be refused to Ailill(?), he will hew down a heap of corpses(?) across the country. Mac Matach will carry us off, he will crush us into bare ashes." The Woman: "I have advice for you about it. I am not bad at directing an affair. Give it to them both. It is all the same whoever perishes for it." The Man: "The counsel you offer is helpful to me. Ailbe.... It is not known by whom it was brought." section 4 After that he arose and made a flourish. "Let us then," said he, "and the guests who have come to us be well entertained." They remain with him three days and three nights, and the messengers of Connaught were summoned to him in private: " Now I have been in great perplexity and doubt," said he, "until it became clear to me that I should give the hound to Ailill and Medb; and let them come for the hound formally, and they shall have drink and food, and shall take the hound and welcome." The messengers of C! onnaught were pleased with the intimation. He then went to the messengers from Ulster: "I have ceased to have any hesitation," said he, "in giving the hound to Conchobar, and let him and the host of Ulster nobles come for it proudly. They shall receive presents and they will be welcome." The messengers from Ulster were pleased. section 5 Now the people from East and West made their tryst for the same day. Moreover they did not neglect it. On the same day the two provinces of Ireland made their journey until they reached the door of Mac Dathó's hall. He went out himself and welcomed them: "O heroes, we did not expect you. However you are welcome. Come into the enclosure." Then they all went into the hall, and half the house was occupied by the Connaughtmen, and the other half by the Ulstermen. Now the house was not a small one. There were seven doo! rs in it, and fifty places between each pair of doors. They were not however the faces of friends at a feast which were in that house. One party was at feud with the other. There had been warfare between them for three hundred years before the birth of Christ. Now Mac Dathó's pig was slaughtered for them. For seven years sixty milch cows supplied its food. On poison however it had been nourished and the massacre of the men of Erin took place through it. section 6 Now the pig was brought to them, and forty oxen as a relish, and other food as well. Mac Dathó himself was acting as steward. "Welcome to you," said he; "the equal to this cannot be found. Bullocks and pigs are not lacking in Leinster. Whatever is lacking now will be slaughtered for you tomorrow." "The pig is good," said Conchobar. "It is indeed good," said Ailill. "How shall the pig be divided, Conchobar?" "How," said Bricriu mac Carbaid...from above, "in the place wherein are the brave heroes of the! men of Ireland, except by dividing according to brave deeds and trophies? And each of you has hit another over the nose before now." "Let it be done," said Ailill. "Very proper," said Conchobar. " We have heroes present who have raided the borderland." section 7 "You will have need of your young men tonight, O Conchobar," said Senlaech Arad from Conalad Luachra in the West. "You have often left a fat bullock of your number lying dead on his back on the Luachra Dedad roads." "It was a fatter bullock that you left behind with us, namely your own brother, Cruachniu mac Rúadluim from Cruachan Conalad." "He was no better," said Lugaid mac Cúrói, "than the great Loth the son of Fergus mac Léti, who was left dead by Echbél mac Dedad in Tara Luachra." "What do you thi! nk of this," said Celtchair mac Uthechair, "my having killed Conganchness mac Dedad and cut off his head?!" section 8 However it so fell out among them in the end that a single champion, Cet mac Matach, got supremacy over the men of Ireland. Moreover he flaunted his valour on high above the valour of the host, and took a knife in his hand and sat down beside the pig. "Let someone be found now among the men of Ireland," said he, "to endure battle with me, or leave the pig to me to divide!" section 9 Silence fell upon the men of Ulster. "You see that, Loegaire!" said Conchobar. "It is intolerable," said Loegaire, "for Cet to divide up the pig before our faces." "Stop a bit, Loegaire, that I may speak to you," said Cet. "You have a custom among you in Ulster," said Cet, " that every youth among you on receiving arms makes us his objective. Now you came into the borderland, and we encountered there. You left behind the wheel and the chariot and the horses. You yourself made off with a spear through you. You will not get ! the pig in that way." Thereupon the other sat down. section 10 "It is intolerable," said a tall fair hero who had risen from his place, "that Cet should divide the pig before our faces." "Whom have we here?" asked Cet. "He is a better hero than you are," said everyone; "he is Oengus mac Láma Gábuid of Ulster." "Why is your father called Lam Gábuid?" asked Cet. "Well why?" "I know," said Cet. "I once went eastward. The alarm was raised around me. Everyone came on and Lam came too. He threw a cast of his great spear at me. I sent the same spear back to him, and it st! ruck off his hand, so that it lay on the ground. What could bring his son to give me combat?" Oengus sat down. section 11 "Keep up the contest further," said Cet, "or else let me divide the pig." "It is intolerable that you should take precedence in dividing the pig," said a tall fair hero of Ulster. "Whom have we here?" asked Cet. "That is Eogan mac Durthacht," said everyone. [He is king of Fernmag.] "I have seen him before," said Cet. "Where have you seen me?" asked Eogan. "At the door of your house, when I deprived you of a drove of cattle. The alarm was raised around me in the country-side. You came at that cry. You cast a spear at me so ! that it stuck out of my shield. I cast the spear back at you so that it pierced your head and put out your eye. It is patent to the men of Ireland that you are one-eyed. It was I who struck out the other eye from your head." Thereupon the other sat down. section 12 "Prepare now, men of Ulster, for further contest," said Cet. "You will not divide it yet," said Munremor mac Gergind. "Is not that Munremor?" asked Cet. "I am the man who last cleaned my spears in Munremor," said Cet. "It is not yet a whole day(?) since I took three heads of heroes from you out of your land, and among them the head of your eldest son." Thereupon the other sat down. "Further contest!" said Cet. "That you shall have," said Mend mac Sálcholcán. "Who is this?" asked Cet. "Mend," said everyo! ne. "What next!" said Cet, "sons of rustics with nick-names to contest with me! --for it was from me your father got that name. It was I who struck off his heel with my sword, so that he took away only one foot when he left me. What could encourage the son of the one-footed man to fight with me?" Thereupon the other sat down. section 13 "Further contest!" said Cet. "That you shall have," said a grey, tall, very terrible hero of Ulster. "Who is this?" asked Cet. "That is Celtchair mac Uthechair," said everyone. "Stop a bit, Celtchair!" said Cet, "unless we are to come to blows at once. I came, Celtchair, to the door of your house. The alarm was raised around me. Everyone came up. You came too. You went into the doorway in front of me. You cast a spear at me. I cast another spear at you so that it pierced your thigh and the upper part of the fork of your ! legs. You have had a ... disease ever since. Since then neither son nor daughter has been begotten by you. What could encourage you to fight with me?" Thereupon the other sat down. section 14 "Further contest!" said Cet. "That you shall have," said Cúscraid Mend Macha, the son of Conchobar. "Who is this?" asked Cet. "Cúscraid," said the others. "He has the makings of a king to judge from his appearance." "No thanks to you," said the boy. "Well," said Cet, "it was to us you came in the first place, boy, for your first trial of arms. There was an encounter between us in that borderland. You left a third of your people behind; and it is thus you went, with a spear through your throat, so that you have not an ! articulate word in your head; for the spear has injured the tendons of your throat, and that is why you have been nick-named Cúscraid the Stammerer ever since." And in this manner he flouted the whole province. section 15 Now while he was making flourishes about the pig with a knife in his hand they saw Conall Cernach entering. He bounded into the centre of the house. The men of Ulster gave a great welcome to Conall. Then Conchobar whipped the hood from his head and made a flourish. "I am glad that my portion is in readiness," said Conall. " Who is he who is making the division for you?" "It has been granted to the man who is dividing it," said Conchobar, "namely Cet mac Matach." "Is it right, Cet," asked Conall, "that you should divide the pig?" Then Cet answered: "Welcome, Conall! Heart of stone, ! Fierce glowing mass of fire, brightness of ice, Red strength of wrath! Under the breast of the hero Who deals wounds, and is victorious in battle I see the son of Findchoem before me." Whereupon Conall replied: "Welcome, Cet, Cet mac Matach! great (?) hero, Heart of ice.... Strong chariot-hero of battle, battling sea, Beautiful fierce bull, Cet mac Magach! "It will be clear in our encounter," said Conall, "and it will be clear in our separation. ! There will be a fine saga in Fer m-brot (?) There will be ill tidings in Fer manath (?) The heroes will see a lion (?) fierce in battle, There will be a rough onset in this house to-night." section 16 "Get up from the pig now," said Conall. "But what should bring you to it?" asked Cet. "It is quite proper," said Conall, "that you should challenge me! I accept your challenge to single combat, Cet," said Conall. "I swear what my tribe swears, that since I took a pear in my hand I have not often slept without the head of a Connaughtman under my head, and without having wounded a man every single day and every single night." "It is true," said Cet. "You are a better hero than I am. If Anlúan were in the house h! e would offer you yet another contest. It is a pity for us that he is not in the house." "He is though," said Conall, taking the head of Anlúan from his belt, and throwing it at Cet's breast with such force that a gush of blood burst over his lips. Cet then left the pig, and Conall sat down beside it. section 17 "Let them come to the contest now!" said Conall. There was not found among the men of Connaught a hero to keep it up. They made however a wall of shields in a circle around him, for the bad practice had begun among those bad men there of evil casting. Conall then went to divide the pig, and takes the tail-end in his mouth and so attained to a division of the pig. He devoured the hind-quarters -- a load for nine men -- until he had left nothing of it. section 18 Moreover he did not give to the men of Connaught anything except the two fore-quarters of the pig. Now the men of Connaught thought their portion was small. They sprang up, and the men of Ulster sprang up, and then they came to close quarters. Then it came to blows over the ears there until the heap on the floor of the house was as high as the wall of the house, and there were streams of blood running through the doors. Then the hosts broke through the doors so that a great uproar arose, until the blood on the ground ! of the liss would have turned a millshaft, everyone striking his fellow. Then Fergus seized by the roots a great oak which was growing in the midst of the liss and wielded it against them. Thereupon they break forth out of the liss. A combat takes place at the entrance of the liss. section 19 Then Mac Dathó went forth leading the hound, and the hound was let loose among them to find out which of them its instinct would choose. The hound chose the men of Ulster and he set it to slaughtering the men of Connaught-- for the men of Connaught had been routed. They say it is in the plains of Ailbe that the hound seized the pole of the chariot in which Ailill and Medb were. There Ferloga, the charioteer of Ailill and Medb, ran it down, striking its body aside, while its head remained on the pole of the chariot. They ! say moreover that Mag Ailbe is so named from this incident, for Ailbe was the hound's name. section 20 Their flight turned southwards, over Bellaghmoon, past Reerin, over Áth Midbine in Mastiu, past Drum Criach which to-day is called Kildare, past Rathangan into Feighcullen to the Ford of Mac Lugna, past the hill of the two plains over Cairpre's Bridge. At the Ford of the Dog's Head in Farbill the dog's head fell from the chariot. Coming westwards over the heath of Meath, Ferloga, Ailill's charioteer, lay down in the heather and sprang into the chariot behind the back of Conchobar, and in this way seized his head from ! behind. "Buy your freedom, Conchobar," said he. "Make your own terms," said Conchobar. "It will not be much," replied Ferloga, "namely, you to take me with you to Emain Macha, and the women of Ulster and their young daughters to sing a panegyric to me every evening saying: 'Ferloga is my darling.'" There was no help for it, for they did not dare do otherwise for fear of Conchobar; and that day a year hence Ferloga was sent across Athlone westwards, and a pair of Conchobar's horses with him, with golden bridles. . . . and that is who I am.

[Well, I considered it. --Scott]


  • Carl's mum rips off a mask to reveal that he/she is really Carl #2 recently seen falling from the sky. Carl: Dear God!


  • I am the keeper of the portrait in the attic. It will turn you into your alter self an evil self- destructive being if your true love should happen to gaze upon it.

Douglass Barre (age 28)

  • Well, there's the obvious, of course: Mom does the universal motion of pulling a mask from one's face (grip at the chin, pull diagonally) while crying, "It is me, Carl, your arch-enemy... Captain Bungee!"

    But I've got to believe I can come up with something better than that...

Bill Schlimme

  • Woman starts singing a very off-key rendition of "Sympathy for the Devil"?

Sky (age 5)

  • You know!

Winter (age 3)

  • I pick Carl steps on the Carl. I pick Pooh, a Lee, a Lee, a Pooh too. And I pick Kooh, a Bee, a Lee, a Cancel Adios.

Taper Wickel

  • Carl rips off "Mom"'s face, revealing a Slimy Alien. He gasps.

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