This week's panel suggested by Bill Schlimme.

I declare everyone else to be a winner this week also.

All those who suggested "I thought you were dead" deserve it because they got it right.

All those who did not suggest "I thought you were dead" deserve it, because they had the good taste to not suggest "I thought you were dead."

Boy, this is a wordy row.

Ivy and I both selected this one after much debate. A lot of entries this week.

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again next Sunday!

Sunday 06/20/1999

dan wheeler

  • carl to dad (or dad to carl): but i thought you were DEAD!
  • carl: you've got a lot of nerve showing your face around here!
  • carl & carl's dad share a hearty embrace. carl: i love you dad! dad: i love you too carl!
  • carl points over dad's shoulder. carl: WATCH OUT! there could be some sort of imminent threat looming in the background over his shoulder (like a steamroller or a ninja assasin) or that could just be left to the imagination.

David Bedno

    Continuity, shmontinuity. The X-Men prospered under Chris Claremont, and there are volumes dedicated to his continuity errors.

  • Start with the obvious: Carl exclaims "I thought you were dead!"
  • Carl exclaims "Mom told me you were being stationed in Bora Bora!" (or some other humorous sounding place.)
  • Dad says "Yes Carl, I am your father", as he casts a Vader-like shadow.
  • Carl and son are in a bar, Dad saying "C'mon son, drink up."
  • Dad and Carl looking drunk, Dad says "Did I ever tell you how I met your mother?"
  • Dad is saying "My son, my God! My heart!" and keels over. (More death! More death! Give Carl some real guilt!)
  • Carl shouts "What are you doing here? You're not my REAL father!"
  • Or simply, "What are you doing here?"
  • "Dad" says "No, I'm not really your Dad. I'm just a clever Pez dispenser." Alas...the sarcasm may not come across well...
  • Carl says "Where have you been?" An "all these years" is optional.

    I'll bet you a $5 donation to whatever charity you (or I) like that "I thought you were dead!" is the most popular suggestion. And, should my entry be selected, well, how about sending people on over to http://www.brunching.com - a just plain funny web site...


  • Why doesn't Carl eat a lot of ham and become a ham-man, a super-hero who replaces all of the worlds alcohol with ham, butter, and cocaine.
  • He can also kill another guy named Carl(hence the grave stone) who never dranka drop in his life, was a straight A student etc. Then Carl and his friends can all have a good laugh and drink untill they die after 99 years of happy living.

James Dominguez

    The most obvious next panel in my opinion seems a bit of a cliche...

  • CARL - ...but, you died nine years ago! You could allow this to provide inspiration for the next panel(s), or...
  • ...or possibly add a bit more to fuel Carl's guilt: CARL - You died while saving me from that killer groundhog... didn't you? (or something equally ridiculous - I was just trying to set up a recurring theme.)

    Very interesting idea you have here. I will be a regular visitor, I think.

Kevin Pease

  • Carl: "I thought you were dead!"
  • Dad: "I guess it's been a long time, huh, son?"
  • Carl socks Dad in the jaw for no readily apparent reason. Perhaps he has abandonment issues.
  • Dad: "I'm sorry, Carl...I guess it's time you finally met your brother." Carl's double joins them in the foreground.

    That last is my favourite, because Carl's twin can be introduced with surprise whether he has been seen previously in the story or not. And the plot gets thicker!

Guy Nelson

    Ah, time for a bitter-sweet reunion...

  • Carl: "where have you been all this time?" Dad: "Son, I have a drinking problem..."
  • Dad: "...take me for instance, I never got a proper divorce before I married Bambi..." Carl: "Dad, how could you!"
  • Dad: "SHHH! you'll blow my cover, I'm a secret agent now!" (as he and Carl duck into an alley)
  • Dad: "wadaya say we go to Borneo and catch up on old times!" Carl: "Gee Dad, you're the greatest!"
  • Dad: "Geez, I must be real drunk, I'm seeing DOUBLE!" (the 2 Carls look shocked/confused)
  • Carl's Dad turns out to be Thor. and then bursts into flame.

    Sorry, just can't resist a "forbidden list" joke...

Scott McClintock

    so far I like the comic, I'm going to have to keep checking back.

  • Carl violently grabs his Dad and starts to choke him while sreaming "why!" gurgle noise from Dad
  • same as above, except Carl yells "I hope your happy!"
  • more violent acts towrds Dad. Punching, kicking, and screaming....
  • Carl says "does this mean I get FREE beer?"
  • enter Mom both Carl and Dad repeat "MOM!?"
  • enter Carls Brother "Steve"
  • enter Carls Brother "Scott" (ha ha ha)

Brent Hoover

  • Father: "You know, I killed your mom once too. But times were different then."
  • Father: "C'mon, let's forget our troubles and play some 'Defender'"
  • Enter: Cher

Matt Hutchinson

  • Carl says to father: "To help relieve my guilt you must join me in...."
  • Carl says to father: "By leaving me at the age of two you've driven me to this life of drunken abandonment. Now it is you who shall pay!"
  • Carl's father says: "There is something I must tell you...I sold you soul to the church of the lemon grove worshipers now you must pay them their dues."
  • Carl's Father says: "Thank God I've found you son.... your life is in grave danger. Have you noticed anyone following you recently?

Lee K. Seitz (same age as Douglass Barre)

    Many comments: Cool, two in a row! I think my only major unplugged page is for Rom, Spaceknight (http://home.hiwaay.net/~lkseitz/comics/Rom/). Another week and a half between Carls? I don't know if I can take it again! Yeah, Jesse Rimler nailed it. Do all the winners get credit in little tiny print on the (possible) poster? I think my ego would force me to buy one then. 8) Oh yeah, I supposed to make suggestions. Hmmmm, tough week.

  • Let's draw out the reuion. Carl: Dad! Dad: Carl! (Note the lack of the question marks this time.)
  • Carl: But Obi-Wan told me you were dead! (I'm still suffering from Star Wars fever.)
  • Carl: But Mom told me you died from drinking and driving. (Ooo, the irony. 8)

[Note to newcomers: Lee is taking advantage of the offer of a free plug for every suggestion used. But remember, that's winners only... 'cause we all know what would happen otherwise! --Scott]

frank episale

  • carl and dad sitting staring at a picture of mom. a bottle of whisk(e)y sits between them. neither is drinking yet.


  • Carl & Dad in bar. Dad drinking heavily. Dad says: "Carl, There is something I have to tell you..."

Josiah Rowe

    I was gone for a week or so and came back to find out that my suggestion for two weeks ago had been used, kinda! (Was this another "suggested by millions" panel, or was it just me?)[Three or four actually. --Scott]

  • Carl, tearful and maybe a little angry: "Dad, where have you been all these years?"
  • Variation on a theme-- Carl: "Dad, I thought you were in *Borneo*!"
  • Carl, angry: "This is all *your* fault!"
  • Dad: "Son, let's have a drink!"
  • This one's from Erin: "A cheesy `Love Story' type thing-- Carl and his dad embrace joyfully, while violin music swells in the background (Hey, multimedia!)"

Jon Delorey

    Well, I haven't had a chance to contribute for a while, but like any good soap opera, nothing much changes......

  • Carl says: Tell me dad, did you ever drink and drive?
  • Dad says: Would you like a drink?
  • Dad says: Promise me you won't drink and drive, Carl.
  • Dad says: I personally like to drive when I drink.

Douglass Barre (Age 28)

    Well, good to know that all is well in Scottland. Lots of extra time now to make all those last minute suggestions!

  • Closeup of CARL, rubbing his chin in thought. CARL (thought): "Am I going to look like that when I'm old?"
  • CARL looking at his watch, angry. CARL: "You're a little late for that little league game, Dad."

Catt Jan Roxxanne

    Oh man, this ones hard...

  • Dad: "You shouldn't be here, you're a GOOD kid!"
  • Carl: "Man, this is SCREWED UP!"
  • Dad: "No Carl,I am merely a Halucination due to your current state..."
  • Enter:Mom Mom: "And just where have YOU been?!!" Carl: "MOM?!?" Dad: "What the hell-?!" -OR- Dad: "!"
  • Carl: "What in Holy-Moley are you doin' here-?!!"
  • Place: bar Caption: LATER... Dad: "I met your mother at an ELO concert in '79..."
  • Dad reaches out to hug Carl and says: "Carl m'boy- how've ya been?!" Carl: "And just WHERE the hell have YOU been?!"
  • Carl: "Wait- you're not Dad- Dad's a blonde..." Dad:"?!"
  • Carl: "Where Have you-" Dad: "Shh! I'm actully a spy, just play along, ok-?"
  • Carl and Dad hug each other and exclaim: Carl: "DAD!" Dad: "CARL!"


jeff johns

    When will "Links" and "Inventions" be finished?

  • Wait a shecond... why're there two of yoo?
  • (ripping off dad-mask) "No, you fool, tis I!" figure can be: shrouded in shadow Daisy Richard Nixon Carl: GASP!
  • Dad: I never thought it would come to this.
  • Another man: Boys?!? Carl: Grandpa?!? Dad: Dad?!?
  • Groucho marx appears in between the two men. Carl & Dad: Groucho?!?
  • Carl: But, your supposed to be dead!
  • Scott McCloud wearing Zot Tee (ala Understanding Comics): Here we see the letterer utilizing the somewhat iconic "?!" to denote incredulity.
  • (dad weeping in his hands) Son, your mother...
  • Carl: Buy me a beer?

[Inventions is finished NOW! See above. --Scott]


  • Then Carl says.. "I wonder if when siamese twins do it, they both feel it... Woo.."
  • Enter a crazy southern babtist who tells carl he's going to hell unless he repents. The baptist is then crushed by a meteor.
  • A zombie climbs out the grave, and almost eats Carl, but Carl throws a beer bottle, and the zombie's head is knocked off.
  • A bunch of pokemon trainers appear, and challenge Carl. Carl vomits on them, they whine, and run off.

Ian Etra


  • Carl: "B-B-But... I thought you were... DEAD!"
  • Carl: "You said you were in Guam!" Dad: "I was..."
  • Carl: "Dad! Your hair... what happened?!" Dad: "We all get older, Carl."
  • Dad: "You didn't DRIVE here, did you?" Carl: "I w-was just- um, that is..."
  • Carl:[punches dad in the face]
  • Dad:[slaps carl]"That's 'Sir' to you!"
  • Carl: "Dad! Get out of here! You're in terrible danger!"
  • Carl: "What are you doing here? And where are your pants?" Dad: "[sigh]Oh, son..."
  • Carl:[clutches chest]"Augggh... my heart... the shock..."
  • Carl: "I thought you still had 8-10 years! How...?"

Sara Rosenbaum

    Hey Scott! I was able to use *UC* in a paper on Dostoyevsky and Italo Calvino recently. First time I managed to quote a comic in an academic paper that wasn't about comics. I think your ideas about closure and the magic of the gutter are close to mechanisms that make *all* art work...I've just got to think about it a little more.

  • Only one. Carl's father's pov -- maybe we see part of the back of his head as he stares at Carl, and Carl. CARL'S DAD: Wha...? There -- there are *TWO* of you!! If you're going down from the panel above, he's just drunk. If you are coming across, well, then he's right!

    That's it for today. Much luck, Scott

John Taylor

    Carl loses it on dear old dad...breaks a bottle and does him in. Plagued with even more guilt, he goes even further.... Not quite sure what, but i'm sure he will be filled with angst as a result.

jason thomas

  • Dad, what are you doing here ?
  • Dad says: Son, I have something important to tell you.
  • Carl Says: Dad ! Just go away
  • The dad says: "You have to come with me."
  • Carl Says: "Oh God, not again !"

Mike Sugarbaker

  • Dad and Carl embrace, once again in extreme-zoom-lines-land. Dad: "Oh, Son! At last, after all these years!" Carl (somewhere between nonplussed and merely bewildered): "Uh..."
  • Same setting as above. Carl: "But Mom said you died in the war!" Dad: "It was just a police action, son."
  • Same setting as above. Carl: "But Mom said you died in a boating accident!" Dad: "Well, I'm fine now, son!" Optional: Dad is now revealed to be dripping wet and holding a snorkel and diving mask.
  • Same setting as above. Dad and Carl embrace. Carl: "I bet you brought back Mom's life savings, too!" Dad: "Uh..."

Michael Avolio

    "Enter: Thor"? Now why didn't I ever think of that one?

  • Carl: I didn't know you were still alive! Mom said you never made it through childbirth!
  • Carl: If you're here, then who's the guy at home with Mom?
  • Carl: Whatever happened to your moustache?
  • The two groups converge; we see two Carls and two Dads... "Dad?" "Carl?" "Dad?" "Carl?"
  • Both of them say: What are you doing here? I know, I know, it's predictable, but hey...
  • Carl: How did you escape my trap? It was foolproff! No one could've escaped it! No one! It's not possible!!! etc.
  • Split panel: At the bar -- Bartender: One gasp dad, comin' right up. At the grave -- RIP! The same monster from the last section rips out of the "dad suit".

Gerry Canavan

    Well, this is a weird crossing point. One path has Carl standing in front of his recently departed Mother's gravestone with an alternative version of himself, the other has Carl in a bar. Here's a few ideas that more or less fit both paths:

  • Carl: Dad, I killed Mom. Carl's Dad: No, son, we ALL killed Mom.
  • Carl: Dad, can I borrow five dollars? Carl's Dad: You still haven't paid me back the five dollars from the last time!
  • Carl: Dad, can I borrow five dollars? Carl's Dad: Fine, but when are you going to get a job?
  • Carl: Dad, I thought you were dead! Second Carl: Yeah! Dad: Son, why are there two of you?
  • Carl's Dad: Son, there's a bomb strapped to my chest. You have to get out of here. Carl: Ok! The next panel would of course be an explosion.

Rock Janecek

    I don't know if this'll fit the barkeeper part (it should)

  • Dad : "I haven't seen you since I mistakenly fell off a cliff" Carl : "yes...mistakenly"
  • Carl : "Gee dad I thought you were dead" Dad : laugh maniacally Carl : "..."
  • Dad : "Son! It's been so long! Did I tell you about the time I..." Carl pulls out a gun : "I can't take it anymore!"

    ok i finish

Mark Rosenfelder

  • Carl (pointing at Dad): Why did you leave Mom??
  • Dad (arm around Carl): Carl, we're going to *grow old* together!
  • Dad: Carl, can you ever forgive me? Carl: Well...
  • Carl: *You're* sure no angel!

Gordon M. Kennedy

  • Carl: "I thought you died while drinking and driving!"
  • Carl's dad has wings, and introduces him to drinking and flying.


    what fun!

  • dad is really the devil (note appearance of horns, pitchfork etc.) Says "have a Drink! Sign here, please" (holds up typical sell soul to devil contract)

    Loved the various text for the suggestion boxes.

Douth Dovan


  • Carl and Dad both say, "How the heck did I get in this bar?"


Markus Gerwinski

  • Carl rushes into his father, starting to strangle him: "Where have you been all that time, you damn...!?"
  • Carl: "What are YOU doing here, Dad?! I thought, you were in Borneo!"
  • Carl's Dad passes him a bottle. Just then, Daisy appears on the scene and says: "Men! Can't you do anything but drink?!"
  • Carl's Mom comes in from behind: "He NEVER used to be an angel, dear." Carl turns: "MOM??!!"

Ray Fawkes

  • An old man standing nearby says: "That's right, Carl." Carl's Dad turns, saying "Dad?" Carl says: "Grampa?" Shocked faces all around!

Ross Lawhead

    Love the site! I'm studying to become a screenplay writier, your works have greatly influenced me even to this point.

  • Close up Carl: I thought you were dead!
  • Dad's POV: Sees two Carls
  • DAD: I really must be drunk!
  • Next panel: Close Up of Dad. Thinks: I really MUST give Carl a call.
  • CU Carl CARL: I thought you had a sex change and moved to Oregon with a Professional Richard Simmons look-a-like!
  • Man stands up behind Carl in the bar/cemetary... MAN: No, Carl, I'M your father! *Burp*!
  • CU DAD DAD: Yes, Carl. Join me in a beer. I have forseen it. It... is... your... destiny! *BURP*
  • CARL: Where have you BEEN all my life? DAD: Borneo!

Steven Marsh

  • Carl: "I just don't know what I want, Dad."
  • Carl (looking shocked): "How long have you been here?"
  • In bar with dad: Carl (Thought): Is this the only way we can really communicate? Through alcohol?
  • Carl (looking sad/disapproving): "... Mom didn't want me to drink."
  • Carl: "Where have you been?"
  • Dad: "Let me buy you a drink. We can talk."

Erik Jensen

    Dad and Carl can stand outside the bar so we can't tell if they are going in or out.

  • I'm a mess, Dad.
  • Dad says: By the way, Mom died.
  • Carl: I thought you were following the Grateful Dead
  • You were an accident, Carl. Sorry.

Hal Lucination

  • Carl and his long lost father celebrate thier reunion with erotic asphyxia, but take it a little too far. Carl dies and his dad commits suicide over his feelings of guilt and shame.
  • Carl pulls a gun to rob his lousy failure/clerk of a dad. Drunkenly attempting to aim, the bullet ricochets off the cash register into Carl's head, killing him.
  • Carl purchases a small package of 'Ebola' gum from his father and dies horribly after chewing the first piece.

Morgan Doninger

    I'll try and get up to the Museum for you Scott, but I seem to be Brooklyn bound as of late... oh and I think Jesse nailed it, I mean the panel does seem to go ka-boom there, right?

  • Carl and his father look at each other sadly. CARL: How long's it been, Dad? DAD: Too long son, too long.

    That's only ten words! By the by, I had a little trouble staying on the scottmccloud.comaroo this week. Hope all is well in cyberland.

Patric Lewandowski

  • both carl and dad say "I thought you were dead!"
  • Carl: "Dad, I need advice!"
  • Carl: "Where have you been all my life? I haven't seen you in years!"
  • Dad: "You know, I wanted to call you "Mini Dad"

    wow.. these are some of the lamest suggestions I have EVER come up with.

Greg Lam

    I guess the 2nd Carl has conveniently disappeared.

  • Carl to Dad: What are YOU doing HERE?
  • Carl to Dad: Where have you been all these years?

Drew Hart-Shea

  • Carl and his Dad stare at each other. Carl: "Oh man...this is too much...I think we both need a drink"

Kyle Hollingsworth

    so drugged artist Carl from the grave of mom OR innocent but shocked Carl encounters Dad

  • Dad, to Carl: "Let's go for a drive, son."


  • Carl to Dad: How'd you get out of prison?
  • Dad to Carl: I never thought I'd see you again after the incident in Frisco.
  • FLASHBACK: Weepy mother holding the younger Carl, telling him: Your daddy's gone somewhere special for a very long time. Young Carl: So what you're saying is he's dead, right?
  • Carl, angry: I thought the Sheriff told you never to show your face in this town again!

adam ford

    Scott, I'm having trouble getting a hold of Comics Journal 211 - any advice as to online stores that I can order it from?

  • Carl's dad rips off his mask, revealing a familiar face underneath... Dad: "No Carl, I'm not your dad..."

[Good question. Any other posters want to recommend a favorite online comic shop? --Scott]

Jason Arnett

    I've long admired your work and only just recently started visiting your site. I'm enjoying myself immensely and this is my first ever Carl suggestion:


    Thanks. Any chance you could make out to one of the Kansas City conventions some day?

[Maybe one of these days. For now though, I have to severely limit my travel time while I work on Reinventing Comics (the sequel to UC). --Scott]

Rupert Morrish

  • Dad: I couldn't tell you while your mother was alive, but you were adopted.
  • Dad [pointing]: I couldn't tell you while your mother was alive, but your real father is that man over there.
  • Dad: I couldn't tell you while your mother was alive, but we found you in the wreckage of a spaceship.

Tim Miller

  • Carl: You're supposed to be DEAD!
  • Dad: Drink some of this Carl, you'll feel better.
  • Carl: No, no, you're not my father! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
  • Meanwhile: Ninjas!



  • Carl Says: Wait a minute! Did you say Carl or Karl? Father: Karl...wait Carl? Carl: Damn you! Damn this cruel World!
  • The father has a gun and shoots Carl in the foot. Carl explodes into a ball of flames!
  • Carl's father tells Carl that he is not his real father and that Carl was concieved by a man named Bud Lite.

Doug Waldron

    This one's even tougher than last week.

  • Carl and Dad sitting at a table. Dad: "... so then the aliens returned my memory, and here I am." (Optional - Carl: "Wow.")
  • Ambiguous close-up of Carl and Dad. Carl: "Where have you been all this time?" Dad just shrugs: "Borneo." (You saw that coming, right?)
  • Carl's Dad pulls out several brochures: "Have you ever considered vinyl siding...?" Carl: "Uh... I gotta go now." (Or maybe "I'd rather kill myself.")
  • Hey, I just realized the next panel will be posted on Father's Day! How about just a close-up of Dad and Carl hugging each other and maybe Carl saying "At long last... Happy Father's Day, Dad!" Or is that too sappy?
  • Great, now I just realized there's a third person in the background of last week's panel. Carl-b: "Dad?!" Dad rubbing his eyes: "Whoa! I better lay off the sauce for a while!"
  • Carl-a and Dad sitting at a table. Carl-b watching them through a window: "Maybe I should just go away, so no one ever has to worry about me again!" (A good idea if I've ever heard one!)

    Re the last panel of Section 2: If Jesse Rimler nailed it, then I nailed it, too. Go on, look. The only thing missing from our suggestions was the specification of a sound effect. Still, it's a little late to be revisiting old wounds. I'll try to move on with my life... (Now if anyone deserves a "sorta nailed it," it's John Kolb from last week.)

don rawls

  • oh my god my dad is cartman's mom!!! why can't i be kenny
  • yes son it is i dr.evil. and is it too frickin' much to ask for shark's with lasers?

Scott Kinoshita

    Surfed in from Nakedfella!

  • Carl: "No, it can't be! It's not possible!" Dad: "Search your feelings, you know it to be true..." Carl: "Noooooooooo!!!!!" (Okay, I HAD To... Sorry)
  • Dad: "Actually, no, I'm really you-me from the future, but meeting me-you here means I've just created a temporal boo-boo -- crap!"
  • Enter: Hera
  • "Help! I've burst into water!"
  • Dad: "(No one can be an angel all the time) ... especially since you're actually DEMON SPAWN!! AH HA HA HA HA ha -- no, wait, that might be copyright infringement."
  • Dad: "(No one can be an angel all the time)... at least, NOT UNTIL THEY'RE DEAD!"
  • This is not a suggestion. I could not pass up this empty space.
  • "On the other hand... hey wait, that's not MY HAND!!!"
  • Try drenching them with gasoline and lighting them on fire.
  • This strip is very confusing. Let's just use this panel to pause, and reflect on its meaning.

    This is my first time submitting. I'm not quite sure how exactly to keep the flow.

Joseph Parise

    From the shadows I come to say... this system is pure genius!

  • Carl asks his father, "Where have you been all of my life?"
  • Carl's father: "When did you get so freakin' ugly?"
  • Carl's father, wide eyed: "Son, I can't believe it is actually you!"
  • Carl says, "Mother always new you would come back to right my wrongs! This is a sign!"

David Bedno

    I forgot what I suggested before. There may be duplicates.

  • Carl saying (shouting, whatever) "What are you doing here?"
  • Dad is talking to a passed out Carl, "...and that's how I met your moother..."
  • Carl breaks down in tears, sobbing "I only wanted to be a good son."
  • Ok...Father's day touching suggestion: Carl and Dad hugging. No dialog. Possibly also crying.
  • Father's Day touching suggestion number 2: Carl and Dad hugging, each saying "I love you." Or Carl saying "I love you Dad" or Dad saying "I love you Carl".

    In case I win? Why not go to the page of one of my favorite musical groups, Lee Press-On and the Nails. They're at http://www.swingordie.com You'll love 'em.

Dylan Graham

    Your Carl comics are wonderful, especially this democratic death frenzy you have organized. The quality of your drawings and that Leroy-like lettering is very comforting. I wonder if maybe this strip is proving to be a better exercise for an editor than it is an example of anarchistic authorship. This whole project seems well suited to the web. ...I have to ask: is it appropriate to call a site "under development" a full year after it is launched? A dirt road is a dirt road.

  • Carl and Dad, undetailed setting (to serve as bar or graveyard), it would be nice to see full figures (this comic is developing a lower torso minority). Carl says "No one has seen you since the accident." (Variously: since the incident, since... that one time, since the World's Fair, etc.)
  • A less leading, blander line would be "I haven't seen you for years" which is only redeemed by the fact that either Carl or Dad could make this accusation.

[The "dirt road" point is well-taken Dylan. I should update my welcome comic and opening pages. Regrettably, the site can only get an hour or two a day so such incremental updates are pretty slow. Sorry about that. --Scott]

Jimmy Fusil

    This strip is getting very melodramatic.

  • In the Bar: Carl: Why did you leave me and mother on the eve of my 8th birthday.
  • In the bar: Carl: where have you been for all these years? Dad: I lived with a group of marsupials in Borneo. (drunk marsupial sitting on barstool next to dad) (optional:bartender talking to marsupial:You've had enough!)
  • In the bar: You went to the liquor store for cigarettes one day and never came back!
  • Carl: You're not my father! (brandishes light saber)

    Sorry. It was right there. It beckoned. I couldn't resist. It was too easy. I apologize. (Sniff...)

Ethan Heitner

  • Winged Carl: Dad! Dad: Uh...Carl?
  • Carl: Why did you leave me? Where have you been?
  • Dad: Son, what you need is a drink!

David McGuire

    I'm hoping this isn't too late, seeing as it's Saturday at the day of my postage...

  • CARL'S DAD: Promise me you won't drink and drive, Carl. CARL: I promise.
  • CARL'S DAD: Have a BEER on me! (Hands him an aluminum can labled "BEER")
  • CARL: I know! I'll rent a video!
  • Carl runs away from his father with tears streaming down his red, sunburned cheeks as he realizes he could never be the man that his father was. His father instinctively starts to follow... but stops, reconsidering. He realizes that this is a time that Carl must be alone to face his own personal demons. CARL: "Eek!"
  • CARL'S SUPPOSED DAD: "No, your father is dead... I'm you from the future!"

    Golly! I hope I win!

Bill Schlimme

  • Carl: "But I thought you were dead!" Dad: "Don't be silly son: you borrowed twenty bucks from me this morning!"
  • Carl: "But I thought you were dead!" Dad: "Oh, well, yeah, I guess, technically..."
  • Dad: "But I thought you were dead!" Carl: "Oh, no, that was a different thread: I have a good six panels before I die again!"
  • Dad: "But I thought you were dead!" Carl: "Funny...so did I!"
  • Dad: "Um, can I borrow your car?"
  • Caption: "Yes, from out of the shadowy veil of our hero's past steps the enigmatic figure that is...HIS FATHER!" Dad, breaking continuity and addressing the reader with a big grin of pride on his face for finally appearing in his son's comic: "That's me!"

Winter (age 3)

  • Mapnhhjjn=
  • Carl: I'm taking care of my map. Carl's sister says: your chance is over now it's my turn. and then she says : haw what what did you say. yiuyuthyfhhgfbgjbgnjhg
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sky (age 6)

  • Carl's sister comes and says: What's happening? Carl says: What?


  • Carl's Dad (looking very upset): Father's day, and my kid's here!

    Happy Father's Day from all three of us!! And Happy Fathers day to any other dads out there in Carl land!!


  • Carl, still suffering from extreme guilt, runs away from his dad and decides to kill himself by eating duffel bag full of ham. However, he decides to leave the duffel bag alone and instead eat ham and LSD. The ham doesn't kill him, neither does the LSD. He decides to blow his brains out. Somehow, he misses and kills his dad. He feels guilty about killing both his parents and decides to try to kill himself again. He goes into a gun shop. Carl: Hello sir, may I have a gu--- AAHHHH Uncle Bob., Bob: Car;! No, dont do it! Carl then buys an Isuzu SUV hoping it will end his life. At dealership, Car: I want an -- Uncle Bob!...you get the point.
  • Carl decides not to kill himselrf and instead gets a new mom, one with an untwistable stomach.
  • After much self-debate, carl decides not to commit suicide. He feels enlightened and is ready to live the rest of his life in extreme happines, without alcohol or drugs, helping mankind. However, on his way home he accidentally drives of a bridge. Then, he is turned into a pig, a pig who can't wim, and dies. (The last part is optional).

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