This week's panel suggested by dan wheeler.

Ha! Serves me right.

Well now I know one of the side-effects of plugging another section of my site on the Carl page: Half as many suggestions this week!

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again next Sunday!

Sunday 07/04/1999

Markus Gerwinski

  • Foreground: Carl runs away, hands pressed against his head. Carl: "I don't BELIEVE this!" Background: Carl's Dad, reaching out for him in a vague gesture, shouting: "Carl, WAIT!"
  • Dad tries to embrace Carl, but misses him, since Carl suddenly bends down: "Oops! My keys!"
  • While Carl and his father embrace each other, [Optionally: Carl: "Where have you been all that time? *SOB* "] Daisy approaches from the background. (Is that a wooden stake in her hand?;-)
  • When trying to embrace his son, Dad twitches back, saying: "Uuh... son, how much garlic did you eat this morning?!"

    A pity, that the undad didn't appear on the downwards path. I think, he would perfectly fit into the momster storyline.

matt kemp

  • close up of suspicious carl, "dad, are you a vampire?"
  • close up of disgusted carl, "dad, you suck."
  • close up of dad, "carl, son, i'm a vampire. there. it's out."
  • dad: "carl, son, my flesh and blood... I NEED you." (there's a better stupid joke there, hidden somewhere)
  • carl, tenor, "they cried 'avast!' on ancient masts sailing for the south." dad, baritone, "as rotting meat and rotten teeth mingled in their mouths."

M. Robert Turnage

  • Carl and Dad, arm in arm and very tipsy/woozy. "Drunk bubbles" surround them. Carl: DAD! Dad: CARL!

Cat Jan Roxxanne

    Dear Scott, I hope you enjoyed my lecture on vampires... so now you must REALLY thimk I'm insane... anyway...

  • Carl: this is so weird... he dosen't even look like me...
  • caption: LATER carl and dad are totally smashed at the bar CARL: I mish yew dad! DAD: hee hee hee
  • Carl is passed out on the floor drooling, talking in weird murmurs to himself (mabey some X's for eyes), and dad says, "Gosh, I didn't know you drink, son...!"
  • Carl and Dad are sitting at the bar, Carl says, "Wow... this means I'm CARL JUNIOR now..."
  • Dad is at the bar with carl. Dad is behind the counter of the bar while Carl is sitting on a stool on the other side. Dad says "I haven't been able to see you in the last 13 years 'cause I've been working the late shift at the bar..." Carl murmurs "Geez."
  • Carl and Dad are in the car. Carl looks forward and says "So, come you're not dead?"
  • Carl "Hmmmm, there's something veeeerrrry odd about him..."

    Sincerly, Catt Jan Roxxanne

Mike Sugarbaker

  • Dad: "Excuse me, I have a word balloon stuck in my teeth."
  • Carl pictured in suit, with beer and laptop computer. Carl: "She didn't say anything about drinking and daytrading!"
  • Carl donning a rubber monster suit, amongst miniature buildings. Carl: "She didn't say anything about drinking and levelling Tokyo!"

    I know you can't use those two, but there aren't any more really clear beginnings and I wanted to mention them.

adam ford

    I have no comments to appear before my suggestion.

  • This is gonna be one of those millions of winners one, I feel... Dad (grinning, or mouth open, fangs to be seen): Come here, son, and give your ol' dad a HUG!!! - and, of course, the fangs are exposed an' all. - you could even do the cape thing, where he's raising his arms to enclose carl in the cape.

    Love the five card nancy thing, scott. Nancy didn't actually make it out to Australia, but I think I can come up with some local variants.

Lukas Chen

    Man, how do you tie in a vampire & a liquor store?

  • Just a shot of The back of Dad's head, and Carl Screaming hysterically, or just plain freaking out
  • Carl notices a bottle behind Dad ( or a bottle Dad's holding) Carl: Wait a minute, THAT'S not beer!
  • Liquor Store Dad yells "WATCH OUT CARL!" as vampire Dad tries to get him (or something to that effect)

    Man, I have GOT to find someone who sells ZOT Vol 1 and 2...


  • Carl hugs his dad " I'm so happy to see you" Ol' Pops rears his head ready to bite our man Carl. Spooky stuff.

David McGuire (Age 22)

    Only one this time...

  • CARL punches DAD in the face for no apparent reason. SOUNDFX: "SOCKKO!"

    One is the lonelyest number.

Morgan Doninger

    A fellow fruvous fan. Ha-zah. Another good CD of theirs to pick up is their Live Noise. Being a live album you get a good overview of their stuff, and the playful banter which is their stage act. Alas no Spidey.

  • Carl's Dad now looks more vampiric. Carl: "You look diffrent when I'm drunk."
  • CARL: "Wine?" DAD: "No thanks."

Doug Waldron

    These suggestions are ambiguous enough that we won't need vampires running in both directions after the split.

  • Dad holds up a bottle and says simply, "I'll pour." Carl can't see that the bottle label has a skull and crossbones!
  • Dad holds up a bottle and, feeling poetic, begins speaking in haiku:
     "A heady liqueur.
     Intoxicating, thick, red.
     Sanguine libation."
  • Carl and Dad sitting at a table in a bar. Dad: "... so then the vampire aliens returned my body, and here I am!" [Optional - Carl: "Wow."]
  • Dad grasps his head: "Aaargh! Can't... control... murderous... impulses! Flee, Carl, flee!"
  • Dad: "I will give you ten thousand drachma for the dancing girl!"

dan wheeler

  • carl's dad: i'm sorry son but i'm going to need to see some ID.
  • carl's dad: it's been so long since i've seen you. give your old dad a hug!
  • carl (sputtering): i can't believe it! ... you're .... you're
  • carl's dad: what's your poison son, it's my treat.

Nathan Kuruna

  • Dad leaps at Carl, fangs bared, snarling.
  • Dad: Come Carl, let me show you to my castle, er, condo.
  • Some manner of Vampire hunter type character (ala Van Helsing, Buffy, or Wesley Snipes) bursts through the door, stake in hand, with a cry of "Get back Carl!"
  • Carl brandishes a cross yelling "Back, you undead spawn of Satan!"
  • Carl, looking slightly confused, says "Hey wait, the sun's out!"
  • Carl's father starts counting things. "One, two, three, four! Four beer bottles! Ah-ah-ah!) Thunder/lightning.
  • Carl's father turns into a bat, screeches menacingly.
  • Carl's father turns into a bat, gets caught in Carl's hair
  • Carl's father turns into a bat. Carl pulls a baseball out of his pocket.

Travis Howard

    First time poster :)

  • Waitaminute! *perplexed* I thought you were DEAD! Y'know..D-E-A-D?
  • Make that a drink or thirty..
  • *Gasps* *in shock* Where the HELL are my keys?!?
  • Hey Jabberjaw, wanna open my beer for me? [Carl, referring to the tooth, or being surly to the counter jockey Dad]
  • I'm not even supposed to BE here today! [Dad](apologies to Kevin Smith)
  •'s Tuesday. You know what that means... [Dad setting up for a punchline]
  • I think I've got a drinking problem. [Either one of them]
  • How about some wine? [Carl, setting up for a vampire joke; or a whine joke with his dad]
  • Haven't you heard about your mother? [Dad]
  • What is this? The Twilight Zone? [Carl]

    Can you post more info on your new book, Reinventing Comics for us latecomers? Thanks!

[Reinventing Comics is in the same format as Understanding Comics and chronicles 12 different "revolutions" of comics (particularly in America) which seek to reinvent the way comics are written, drawn, and delivered. The last 3 all deal with computers and take up the second half of the book. I hope at some point to revamp the objects section of the site and include a special preview of R.C., but we have a bit more time. Reinventing Comics will be out in early '00. --Scott]


  • Dad with arms outstreched: "Give Daddy a Hug".
  • Carl: "Don't you still owe me a beer?" Dad: "You were ten!?!"
  • Carl: "I know! BEER!"
  • Carl: (suspicious) "Hey, wait just a minute..." (Spidey-sense lines tingle from head)

Greg Lam

  • Dad: Uh... here, son, try some of THIS... *Hands Carl a fizzing, foaming glass* Dad is sly, Carl wary.

Jeff and JuliAnn Johns

  • Dad: "Son, Look into my eyes" Weirdo Hyno eyes.
  • Carl: "My, what big teeth you have..."
  • A priest appears. "Carl, get away from him"
  • Mom reappears. "Carl, that's not really your father."
  • Carl: "but you don't drink!"
  • All we see is an unidentified hand, shooting a gun. BANG!
  • Carl: You can buy me a drink on one condition..."
  • Carl: Beer and GARLIC BREAD!
  • Carl: "Hey, can you do this?" Carl makes that weird mask that you make by doing the "okay" sign with your hands, and turning them upside down on your face.
  • Dad: Son, who taught you to drink? Carl: I learned it from watching you, okay.

Bill Schlimme

  • Carl, oblivious to his father about to attack him as he peruses the shelves of the liquor store: "So what'll it be tonight, Dad?"
  • Carl: "Did--did Mom know..?" Dad, rather cryptically: "Oh, yes: she knew..."


Vaughn Fraser

    This is cool. This is the first time I've visited your web page.

  • Daisy jumps in like Buffy the vampire slayer: "Stand back, Carl--this is not your Dad!!!"

    I'm real impressed with everything on your web page, Scott.

Travis Pelkie

    Hey, I'm back! Bet you missed me.

  • Maybe, working off one of the suggestions, carl's dad takes a drink and it leaks out of a bullethole in his stomach. "well. that's a strange sensation"
  • or else he then opens his shirt to reveal-- a ribcage!
  • I don't know what else, I've been away too long.

    Just reread UC last week (probably for the dozenth time or so) in tandem with the Comics Journal stuff. Great stuff. Let me also recommend a book that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with comics, but those of us into comis might better understand them, or something. The book is "The Alphabet versus the Goddess" by Leonard Shlain. The thesis of the book is that alphabet learning reinforces masculine traits, while image learning goes with feminine traits. It kind of reaches at points, but presents this century as going back towards image learning and feminine traits. Comics are mentioned near the end, but sadly are relegated to merely being precursors to the icons of tv. If he had looked at comics unique blending of word and image... Anyway, it's pretty interesting.
    Loved the inventions section, too.
    Larry Marder is God, I have proof. Great line in UC!

[Don't anyone tell Dave Sim about this book. --Scott]

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