I'm going into HERMIT mode for several weeks while I finish work on Reinventing Comics, the 240 page "sequel" to Understanding Comics (see the FAQ page in my Welcome section for more details), so unfortunately I'm going to have to take a 10 week break from Carl. Sorry for the short notice!

I'm going to miss you guys. For nearly two years we've been hanging out almost every Sunday and it's been a fascinating and delightful experience. I hope you'll keep your ideas at the ready for Carl's triumphant return in late April!

Sunday 02/13/2000

This week's panel suggested by:

  • PJM

Others suggesting the wooden stake:

  • Adam Noble
  • Tom Harris
  • Travis Pelkie
  • Patric
  • Jimmy

Wow!! Color Coincidence!!

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again in APRIL 30th!!


    Ooooh... this gets harder...

  • Carl turns round, but his evil vampire Father has disappeared - "what the - "
  • The scimitaresque teeth of Carl's hideous patriach sink effortlessly into his neck, like a pair of hot curling tongues into a block of butter...
  • Carl turns around and see's his Father smiling benignly. Dad - "hey son, I got your Bud!"
  • Carl dies... But becomes a member of the undead. What would Sam Raimi do in this situation?
  • Dawn breaks. "Gahhhhh" goes Dad, hiding his face behind his arm. (Alternative text - "ahhhhhh", "naaaahhhhgh", "Hsssssssss" and "raaaargh")

    Carl is dead: long live Carl...

Tony Olsen

  • Carl turns to face the the drooling, vampiric Brian. Carl: Arrrrrgh! Brian: Don't get excited, I only came in for iced coffee!

Jim Schumaker

    Yeah, I know I'm submitting this after the deadline, but I thought I'd throw it in anyway.

  • Carl's Mom (off panel): You almost stepped on that banana peel! Carl: Oh! Panel shows Carl bending over to pick up said peel as Dad sails overhead (perhaps only his legs and feet can be seen as he goes flying off panel).

    Sure, it's a tired gag, but what the hell?

Adam Noble

    Will Warren Ellis' death ray guest star in a Carl panel sometime?

  • Mom in mid-air karate leap, wooden stake in hand, in full "Buffy mode." Or you, know, Carl has mistaken Sarah Michelle Gellar in the previous panel for his mother. Whatever works.

    Will Alan Moore's beard guest start in a Carl panel sometime?

Morgan Doninger

    I've really got to get my life in order here! It's been almost two months of every other panel. Yeesh.

  • CARL turns to see BERT. BERT continues to menace CARL, but his vampire fangs fall out. CARL: AHHHH- huh? BERT: Gotcha- oops. ETHEL (word balloon from off panel): Beeeert!

    A little busy, yes, but doable. Now I must try to get back here regularly, and try to lose those extra pounds, and do my taxes... sigh.

Michael Patrick

  • Carl's Mom (what was her name again?): Tosses carl a bottle of holy water.

    Carl bends over as the Dad-vampire lunges past him. Carl: Hey- I found my keys.

Josiah Rowe

    Hey, Scott -- I missed the NPR thing, but will listen on npr.org later... but surely you were on last month, in 2000, not last year, in 1999 (as you wrote in last week's comments)...

  • Well, this has to meet up with "Oops! Watch the spray!" from Section 4, so obviously Carl has to throw his beer can (labeled "Holy BUD: God's favorite beer") back into Dad's sharp vampire tooth, which punctures the can: *fshhishh!* (in memory of Don Martin)

    Has anyone tried to write a 12,463-word suggestion yet?

[Shhh... Don't give them any ideas! --Scott]

Josiah Rowe

    Hey, I just realized that we've connected with the stream in which Carl's mom is dead! Geez, this is really tough now.

  • A "Groundhog Day"-style repeat of last week's "Ah! That's it! No more beer for me!" panel.

Dave M.

  • Bert lunges after the can of Bud on the dashboard, exclaiming, "God I need a drink!" Bert puts his hand over Carls eyes, and says in a sing-songy voice, "Guess Who!" Carl gets out of the car, asking "Mom, what's the matter?" just as Bert goes flying into the windshield.

    good job, cheese.

gregg lamse

  • carl sticks the beer can in the vampire/ dad's mouth.


  • Carl holds up an iceskate and says "It's not a wooden stake, but . . ." Alternately: Carl's dad with ice skate sticking out of his chest. Carl's mom: "That's stake, not skate, did I teach you nothing?!"

    Yeah I suggested it before, but it fits better here. I hope. ^_-

Mr. ?

  • Carl's Dad bites his neck. His mother faints.
  • Ethyl whips out a crossbow and shoots Bert through the heart at the last moment. Ethyl: "Your mom, yes, but also I'm the Slayer!"
  • Carl jumps out of the way of vampire Bert, only to see that his mother is a vampire too! Ethyl: "Stay away from him! He's all mine. Mwa ha ha!"
  • Well, those are all the cool ideas I had, so the obligatory boring business meeting caption: Enter... Bill Gates

Zack Adgie

    Hey, It's a dream, anything can happen... which means that this carl could tie in with the "drinking and drawing" carl from section 1. It could be perceived that neither are real, and that this is just some goofed-up land where vampires exist and such. or maybe i'm just thinking too hard.

  • brian boitano pops up out of nowhere and impales bert with a silver ice skate
  • carl gets bitten and becomes a vampire... now that would make for an interesting story, wouldnt it?
  • carl ducks, bert flies him, landing on (and biting) ethel
  • bert pulls out his plastic vampire teeth and says "i was just kidding!"

Markus Gerwinski

    Welcome back to the web, Scott! Excuse me for a moment... [Filling my lungs]:

    ... YEAH! Let's see, if I'll make it to a third panel before the ultimate final tombstone! Time for one more plug: Come and see the latest changes on my Web site of narrative arts! (Unfortunately, the comics section still isn't yet ready, but at least there are some nice cartoons now in the works section.)

  • The obvious one first: Carl raises his hands and shouts: "I didn't drink, Mom! I swear!" In one hand he still has the Bud can, accidentally bringing it between his neck and Dad, whose fangs dig into the can instead of Carl's neck. (Soundtrack: CRUNCH! with little icon-type "that hurts" stars)
  • A bowling ball thrown by Mom knocks Dad away.
  • An inch before Carl's neck, Dad stops. With his last self-preservation, he mutters: "Run... away... Carl... NOW!"
  • Dad bites Carl.

    Scott, last week I discovered for the first time the hidden panels in "Ninety-Five". Makes it quite another dimension of a story... (Whew!)

Mike Sugarbaker

  • Carl has opened the car door and stepped out to regard his mother. Bert's vampire teeth have lodged in the steering wheel. The car has begun to roll forward; Carl doesn't notice. Carl, striking a righteous pose: "You were right, Mom; the devil makes beer for idle hands!"

Tom Harris

  • The tombstone frame..yes, I know it's in the middle of a row, but think of the cool stuff you can do that you can't normally do with the tombstone frame...like having Carl rising from the dead as a vampire in the next frame...
  • Bert's fangs sinking into Carl's neck with sound effect "sputch"
  • Carl holding neck looking confused while Bert the vampire staggers around drunk.."I guess there are advantages to having a high blood alcohol level"
  • Bert's face hits something invisible..the car window? Or maybe a force field projected by the angel...hm...
  • Bert is squashed by a pink elephant
  • Bert is squashed by Brian Boitano
  • Ethel shows up holding a wooden stake.."Ok, laughing boy, it's payback time!"
  • Daisy (in her ever-popular "save-the-day" mode)lunges forth and impales Bert on a wooden stake dialogue: "Oh no you don't!"
  • Bert passes through Carl, as though he's a ghost....
  • Carl turns around baring HIS fangs, as the two prepare for a grand battle...


  • This is my rewarmed loser from last week, but: Carl leaps out of the car and knocks his shadowy vampire shopkeeper dad into next week with a side kick / salchow to the chest, yelling "Take this, fiend!"
  • Or, more in keeping with Carl's timing so far: Carl turns, but not quick enough to prevent the vampire from sinking his fangs in. (Plenty of potential for next week.)

Gray Lowell

  • Bert: "No son of mine is going to give up drinking!"

Travis Pelkie

  • Carl gets bitten, scary type stuff happens
  • Carl's mom appears with a stake, sez "I thought I got rid of you years ago!"
  • Carl's "dad" appears regular-like, as Carl turns around. "Dad" sez "heh heh, uh, nothing, um, honey"
  • I dunno, this is hard!!

    Heard the NPR thing. Sounded great, but they shoulda used the Ramones version of spidey. I also should have paid attention to when it was, cuz a search revealed about 100 listing for the same piece on Todd McFarlane. And hey, I'm part of the running jokes! (in fact, I am a running joke) Over the weekend I went to a show in Ithaca (although the resemblance to France is uncanny!), and I picked up Zot! 11-20, and 14 1/2 for a buck a piece. woo-hoo! Now I just gotta find time to read them. How many issues of Zot! were there total? (and if this is on the FAQ, I apologize) (and if it isn't you should have a listing of all the comix you've done over the years.)

[I still say the best version of the Spider-Man theme song is the one by Moxy Fruvous. There were 36 issues of Zot! altogether, not counting Zot! 10 1/2 and 14 1/2 which were drawn by Matt Feazell--Scott]

dan wheeler

  • Daisy (looking utterly shocked) "what did you just call me?!"
  • Carl (still unaware of his father) "it's OK mom i was only drinking BUD brand non-alcoholic garlic beer." he holds up can. carl's dad recoils in horror.
  • Carl's car is violently thrust forward as he is rear ended by a drunk driver (that's what mom was warning him about, you see.) Carl's dad is ejected through the front window but carl stays put thanks to his seat belt. *CRASH!* tinkle tinkle tinkle
  • Carl quickly turns around but mistakes his dad's lunge for a hug. Carl embraces him hearitly. "Dad! You're back! After so many years we can finally be a family again."



  • Carl's mum stands there, holding a wooden stick and a hammer... MOM: "How do you like your STAKE, Bert!!!!!?"
  • Carl ducks, and dad bashes his vampiritic head on the chiller cabinet, landing with his face in a big bag or garlic. That's gotta hurt!!!!!
  • Dad sinks his teeth into Carl's neck. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!" Mom looks on, worried.
  • Mom stands there with a huge crucifix. "Now I'm gonna show I'm CROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Mom stands there. "FANGS for the memory, Bert!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Carl wakes up screaming, still sat at the car wheel. CARL "Phew! It was all a bad dream!"
  • Bert gets attacked by a passing Alien, you know, like in aliens.

    Carl vs Godzilla... that's the way forward, folks!


  • Mom the Vampire Slayer... throws a stake into Dad and says, "Carl, duck!"
  • Dad stops his advances on Carl when he sees mom and gets all romantic... Dad: "Hey, baby...."
  • Mom enters... with ALIENS!!!!!!
  • Mom enters with Carl's long lost twin... KARL!!!!
  • Mom enters with the Initive.
  • Mom enters with guns. lots of guns.
  • Mom is a werewolf.

    incoherent "2000 leaping groundhogs and still counting" comes out thursday!! YAY!!! Want me to send you a copy scott? Digital comic....

[Sure, Patric. email me the url. Be warned though, I'm heading into HERMIT mode right after this post, so you may not hear from me. (For the next 8 weeks, I'm a workin' machine!!)--Scott]

Rowan Lipkovits

    You can take the boy out of CYOC, but you can't take the Carl out of the boy. Or something along those lines, but with fewer pedophiliac overtones.

  • Father, sinking fangs into beer can, thinking (thought bubble) it reads "BLOOD", not "BUD". Actually no, scrap that. Carl ducks, flask of holy water (or garlic clove if you prefer- which is easier to draw?) comes flying through where Carl's head was and nails "dad" in the kisser - Dad even now is starting to bubble, smoke and melt a la the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

    It's good to be back.

Michael Patrick

  • The Vampire/Dad shows his true intentions- to give Carl a valentine. Unfortunately it's a Bloody Valentine!
  • Enter Daisy! I don't know why. We just haven't seen her in a while.

Miles Kear

    I know that everyone wants Carl to get bitten, but...

  • I think that Carl should bend over to tie his shoe. or perhaps he bends down, and says "No, that's not my mother, it's a strange talking bug!", and sees a little talking bug. Either way, his father misses him, and Carl lives!

Bill Schlimme

  • Carl, turning around quickly: "Dad? I thought you were dead!"
  • Mom attacks Dad with the knife she had been chasing Carl around with in another thread. Mom: "Save yourself, Carl!" Being a miserable worm, that's exactly what Carl does.
  • Brian Boitano, dressed up in fine van Helsing regalia, defends Carl (who doesn't deserve it), grappling with Nosfatheratu, as Mom shrieks uncontrollably, and Carl cries "Dad? I thought you were dead!"

Bill Schlimme, age 26

    (THe covering-my-butt post):

  • Duh--I forgot that this was a junction, and that Carl had already been through the whole "Dad? I thought you were dead!" thing. HOWEVER, what with the ammount of alcohol Carl has obviously consumed in his brief but active life, the loss of short term memory is not beyond the realm of possiblity, so HA!


    Congrats for your prize at Angouleme!

  • Bert bites Carl's neck --too late!
  • Bert gets nailed in the heart with a wooden stake (thrown by Ethel).
  • Carl to Bert: My! What big teeth you have! Bert: The better to turn you into a footsoldier in my army of the undead!
  • Bert collapses: Damn! I thonk I pulled something! Carl: Are you okay!
  • B.B.(as an answer to Carl) w/ a wig: No! it's me, Brian Boitano, in drag!
  • Ethel (aiming a crossbow): That's right Carl!
  • Daisy (aiming a crossbow): No, Daisy, vampire hunter!
  • Daisy: No it's me! You know Carl, you have serious Oedipal issues!
  • Enter: Alphonse the Chimp

Kean Soo

    Hey... isn't Monday Valentine's day...? Could we be having another 'special' panel?

  • CLUNK!! Dad's teeth fall out of his mouth!
  • Dad misses Carl and lodges his teeth in the dashboard.
  • Dad sinks his teeth into Carl's beer. The beer can explodes.
  • Daisy swoops in from the roof of the car and wrestles Dad away from Carl.
  • Carl looks over at Mom and sees that she's a vampire as well!

zoom out