This week's panel suggested by

  • Markus Gerwinski
  • Caaaaat Jaaaan Roxaaaane
  • ...and yes, lots of close-calls as well this week.!

What? No Ground-Hog's Day references?

(Actually, it's probably just as well...)

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again next Sunday!

Sunday 02/06/2000

Bill Schlimme

    Dang it! I was sure my Little Nemo suggestion had a chance!

  • "Hey look guys I have a pony tail", says Carl, and everyone says, "No, no, no, that's just a rubberband", while he's holding up a pony tail. (The best suggestion last week)
  • The mysterious figure in the back seat turns out to BE Brian Boitano!
  • The mysterious figure in the back seat turns out to be an NPR reporter, asking Carl about the future of online comics.
  • The mysterious figure in the back seat turns out to be Carl's Dad, who works as an NPR reporter, asking Carl about the future of online comics.
  • The mysterious figure in the back seat turns out to be Mongor, the Galactic despot, who wants to recruit Carl as his Intergalactic Herald, scouring the universe for other people's ideas he can claim as his own!

    I heard the NPR thing... Finally, some news I can use! Really, at some point you just get weary of Augusto Pinochet, soaring internet stocks, and the Russians crushing the "opposition" in the breakaway Republic of Chectchnia (very sic). You sounded different than I expected, too. Not better, or worse, just... different.

Mark Furman

    You know, I still don't get that pyramid thing in Understanding Comics.

  • Carl is suddenly teleported to a strange graveyard planet where life has no meaning and death never comes to liberate the inhabitants from their dreary existence.

    Sounds a lot like life in Topeka, Kansas, or so I hear.

Jesse Rimler

  • Instead of taking the really, really hard route of tying these threads together, lets just blur the backround a bit so we dont know where Carl and Brian Boitano are. (I can't come up with a way to get either liquor store Carl in a car or the in-car Carl into a liquor store. At least, not without having 8 trillion loose ends.) Brian Boitano has gotta be the guy in the back seat, so: Briano Boitano: Carl! Drinking hurts everyone around you! Just say no! Carl: Okay, Brian!

    My Sister leaves her radio on NPR, so she caught the whole Carl and co. interview. She said it was great. Unfortunatly, I was not so lucky. Is there any place on the net to hear it?

[You can hear any episode of Morning Edition (in RealAudio) at the NPR website's archive, My bit aired on January 20, 2000.--Scott]

Kevin Pease

  • A narrative box reads, "But it is too late..." above a closeup of Carl being strangled by hand.


  • MEANWHILE... Carl's girlfriend is sat desponently at home. GIRLFRIEND: "Sigh. Where the heck has Carl got to?!"

Mr. ?

    This is a toughie. It has to coencide with the current storyline and the one where Carl and .. Bert are getting liquor at the store. Yeowch. PS, Scott. Haven't seen you around the #spinnwebe channel much. Been busy?

  • Carl is half out of the car when he spots some ice skates. Carl: "These could come in handy!"
  • Vampire Bert attacks... only to be stopped in mid air by Vampire Ethyl! Carl, oblivious, is pondering some ice skates he found, or maybe his beer, or maybe both. Carl: "Ug! What was in that coctail?"
  • Carl wakes up chained to the wall, next to Ethyl. There is a dark figure cackling in the background. Carl: "Ow! What hit my head?"
  • Carl's parents rejoice and dance singing, "Carl's not going to drink anymore!" Carl smiles while watching them. Carl: "This calls for a celebration. He is holding a bottle of champaigne.
  • Same as above, but it is daisy offering the champaigne and smiling meanicingly.
  • Carl hits the gas, and the car slams into the back of the garage crumpling it and the mysterious stranger. Carl: "Damn, I'm sure Brian Boitano wouldn't have done that!"
  • And the obligatory primitive capiton: ENTER... FIRE! FIRE... FUNNY!

["Been busy?" he asks...Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. ]

gregg lamse

  • Mom, dad & Carl are at the ice skating rink, looking very awkward and off - balance.


  • Carl calls up AA (it's about time) and talks to a councelor (Brian Boitano?).

Mark Furman

  • Carl turns to his dad and says, "Hey, Dad, how about we discuss this over a Martini & Rossi on Ice?" Ouch, sorry about that one.
  • Carl puts on a fey militaristic suit (like the one Brian won his Gold Medal in) and skates away into a panel where he is flattened by a Zamboni careening over the ice. Shades of Stranger in a Strange Land, his father picks up some of the bloodid ice on which his son lies, and puts it into a highball glass for a farewell toast (do you grok?).

Brian Boitano

    If I were Carl, I would do one of these:

  • Carl says to Dad "Here ya go, keep it, let's go ice skating"
  • Carl escapes the pressure by a relaxing trip with Daisy to the ice rink.

    Looks like a cool comic. How long have you been doing this Scott? And how did I end up in it?

[To answer "Brian's" question, now would be a good time to admit once again that I was actually unaware of the South Park connection when I picked the original WWBBD suggestion -- much to my everlasting embarassment! BB is, truth to be told Ivy and my favorite male skater. (Female: Midori Ito. Dance: Torvill and Dean.) --Scott]

Jeff White

  • Referring to Carl's quit of drinking, this is actually appropriate: "On the other hand, maybe not"

Rod Gonzalez

  • Carl decides to walk instead of driving.Then he decides to drink.

Jose Ariel Ramos

    I live in Japan! A place called Saga. Nobody knows. I'm going crazy. Slowly. . .Slowly. . .

  • Brian Boitano suddenly appears and tells Carl to take a trip to Japan via business class to start a carrer in figure skating. Perhaps we can see Carl on a JAL 777 complete with Japanese speedlines. Carl: Destiny here I come. Plane crashes (into Saga, Kyushu){on top of my bespecktacled head?}. Complete with Japanese speed lines. End Carl

    Thanks for livening up my day, Monsieur McCloud. And my friend Ms. Turner's too. Those dodgy English. Hi Ma!

James "DexX" Dominguez

    Took me a while to figure out the "What the-" was from Ethel... hmm, tricky link-up!

  • Very simple - close up of Carl being chomped in the neck by his Dad.
  • OR... if we want to avoid that for now... Carl running toward his front door, with vampire Bert running behind him, and Ethel peeking out the door, looking shocked. Carl is shouting "Mom! Dad's home!"
  • Pretty weird one: Carl is lying, in a suit, inside a flat rectangle centred low in the panel. Around the rectangle is black, except for a talk balloon from above saying "Ashes to ashes..." Carl says, "Huh? Where am I?"

    Only three this week - very tricky!


  • hands cover carls eyes, text: guess who. The two splitting panels could be a) brian boitano or b) Salman Rushdi (spelling?) that author who went into hiding. or c) elvis. in which case the mouth be

Wade Bowen

  • Carl throws the beer/drink away in revulsion, beaning his dad/back seat stalker in the head. Ethel is surprised to see Burt in the back seat.

Wade Bowen

  • Karl throws the drink, hitting his father in the head. Possible caption: Athletes don't drink! or something to that extent that just doesn't sound as lame.

Tom Harris

    in case this is too obvious....

  • Carl on an ice skating rink, obviously not keeping his balance very well... "well, on the other hand, maybe not" (seriously, not only is this funny, but it breaks the letter of the rules while still keeping their spirit! I at least deserve points for creativity)
  • Carl fallen down on an ice skating rink.. "man this skating thing is hard, it's enough to drive one to drink!"
  • caption "2 years later" -- Carl recieving a gold medal for ice-skating.. "I'd like to dedicate this award to my mother..."
  • Carl looking angry... "Wait a minute! Who is this HE to tell me how to run my life?"
  • Carl wearing a "WWBBD" T-shirt, spreading the word og Boitano to the masses..

    well, that should do it for now...

Jeff White

    Quick note...your web page says the last frame (Carl quits drinking) was posted Jan 23, *1999* Thought you should know this

[Indeed! Thank you for the correction! --Scott]


[Hmmm... I'll consider it. --Scott]

Marc Fleury

    Okay, this is my first time here, so I hope I'm keeping the storyline in my head properly with this suggestion

  • Brian Boitano: "Drink milk, love life."

    From the one thread, Boitano is just Carl's imagination, and from the other he is the figure in the backseat. My suggestion doesn't resolve a conflict that might arise concerning the location of this panel, but we can leave that for later.


  • Mom looks disapprovingly at Carl. Carl desperately says "I was only looking for my ice skates! Really!"

    The cool thing is, coming one way it's a lame excuse, and the other way it's the wacky truth. Well, I thought it was cool, anyway.

Marsh Murphy

    I'm sure this won't be used (copyright, decency, etc), but I felt it had to be suggested.

  • Dad/vampire starts singing the 'Uncle Fucker' song at Carl, then farts.

    As a complete aside, there's a cool show coming up at AKA Gallery in Saskatoon, Canada. The artist has printed out a huge number of video still-frames taken by security cameras around an airport, each one timestamped, and put them on the walls of the gallery. People's actions and vehicle's movements can be tracked over time, if a viewer has enough diligence. I saw an earlier version of the work, and was struck by its comic-book nature. What's the line? "Juxtaposed pictorial and other images in deliberate sequence". The sequence in her piece didn't seem quite so deliberate as a narrative to me, but it was still very cool extension of the medium. (I can't remember the artist's name)

[Sounds like comics to me. --Scott]

Travis Pelkie

    Ugh, this one's gonna be hard, and it's partially my fault! And I didn't even realize we'd be connecting with the section with Carl's dad (shoulda been Frank, man) (unless of course...)

  • Wait, you're not my dad! Carl sez to Bert, my dad's name is Frank!
  • Okay, this was a democratic vote, so I won't try and change it. Maybe I should have voted multiple times. Anyway, Carl would say that Brian B. would RUN!!
  • Well, this is way too hard. Glad I've got the extra week to wrap my head around the fact that Carl is both in a car and in a bar.
  • Oooh! On that note, have a Dr. Seuss rhyming panel, "Alcohol, I would drink it in a bar, I would drink it in a car, I would drink with an umpire, but not with a vampire!"
  • Or Carl's mom (I already forget her name) (Ethel) appears, yelling "What are YOU doing here?" Actually, that could work quite nicely. Dang, I'm good.

    Oh boy, I'm back in class. I've got an art history seminar on theory and method, and we went around the room introducing ourselves and telling what our interest is. Other people are interested in the body, or architecture, or Catholic iconography. Me, I like comic books. So apparently I get to represent the non-canon practices stuff. Actually, the prof said that the first art history courses taught in this country were in 1887 at Princeton. Hmm, just a few years before 1896's Yellow Kid. I've got a new theory, then, that comics were not part of the canon because art history was trying to establish itself as a legitimate practice, and therefore wouldn't accept comic strips. Since education was still for the rich, something appealing to the "lower" classes would not have been accepted as a legitimate art practice. Maybe part of the reason comics haven't been accepted as "real" art. Plus, when a creative writing handbook uses the term "comic book style writing" in a bad way, well...

Alberto Chimal

  • Looking enlightened, Carl says, "Of course! I will become a Tibetan monk!" (We can't see much of the background)

Josiah Rowe

    These will probably all be in the "suggested by millions" category, but...

  • Carl is sitting in a small room with a number of other people, all seated in a circle. He says, "Hi, my name is Carl, and I'm an alcoholic."
  • Close-up on Carl. He says, "From now on, I'm sticking to DRUGS!"
  • Close-up on Carl. He says, "From now on, I'm injecting alcohol INTRAVENOUSLY!"
  • Caption: Later... Carl is being interviewed by a talk-show host. He says, "...and that's how I turned my life around."
  • Caption: Later... Carl is being interviewed by a talk-show host. He says, "...and that's how I found Jesus."
  • An evangelist comes up to Carl and says, "Excuse me, sir, but have you found Jesus?" (If there's room, Carl replies, "I didn't know He was lost!")
  • Carl holds up a can of Bud. "I'll make this my last drink ever!"
  • An angel appears before Carl, saying, "Carl, you know what the right thing to do is!"
  • Caption: Later... Carl is lying on a psychiatrist's couch. He says, "Of course, I didn't know then that both my parents were vampires."
  • Caption: Suddenly... Enter: Brian Boitano! B.B.: "Hi, Carl!"


    hey i just read this comic, i think it's great ^_^

  • *Carl holding ice skate* Carl: not a wooden stake, but . . .

Tom Harris

  • Carl tells his parents that he's decided to become a famous figure skater

Aldo Alvarez

  • Carl at an A.A. meeting: "Hello -- I'm Carl, and I'm an alcoholic."
  • Carl at skating rink: "I'll take up figure skating!"
  • Carl, drunk, at skating rink: "I'll take up figure skating! -- :hic:"
  • Carl, on rollerblades: "From now, on I'm 'blading it!"
  • Carl, drunk, on rollerblades: "From now, on I'm 'blading it! -- :hic:"

Grey Lowell

  • Carl: I'm a carrot juice man now!
  • Carl regarding a beer can: I see now that I rely on alcohol to ignore my premonitions of an untimely death.
  • Carl: Well, I take the occasional social drink, and of course to forget.
  • Carl holding beer can: This is the last beer I'll ever drink.
  • Beer Can to Carl: If you don't drink me I'll give you three wishes. Carl: I'm listening...
  • Carl: But wait! With beer in me, I'll have the self-confidence of 10 men!
  • Beer Can in Carl's Hand: I can make you irresitable to women...
  • Carl thinking: Whatever happened to my skating career?
  • Carl: Drinking poison now, that doesn't sound so bad.
  • Carl: But maybe I'm just overthinking this-- Beer: yeah.

Kean Soo

    Wow, I'm really hard up on ideas today.

  • Carl: "I guess it's only water for me!" Carl reaches for a bottle of holy spring water as Dad leans in towards Carl's neck...
  • Carl: "I know! I'll take up figure skating!! I could fight evil and injustice with my lutzes and salchows ... all to music and in a skin-tight costume, no less!"

adam Ford

    Hey, there were a few shadowy suggestions that didn't get partial credit last time... No matter.

  • I dunno, looking at that shadow there, all I can see in the next panel is Bert Strangling Carl a la Homer Simpson and Bart Simpson...

    cha cha cha 24-hour comics would be great on the 29th (aka St. Tibb's Day), 'cept it's a Tuesday and I work...

Markus Gerwinski

    Jeez - can't go to holidays (Italy) for two weeks without you getting Carl in serious trouble, huh? Connecting these two threads is _really_ hard!

  • Close-up of Carl and Vampire Dad approaching his fangs to Carl's neck. Mom (from the background): "Watch out, Carl!" Carl: "Mom?! What -"
  • Behind Carl, Mom rushes into Vampire Dad with the obligatory wooden stake. Carl, not even notizing it, gazes at the Bud can, thinking: "To be or not to be..."
  • Carl jumps out of the car/liquor store and runs along the streets, yelling: "No more drinking! No more drinking!"

    Sorry, don't have the foggiest idea, what this guy Brian Boitano would do...

Danny Cline

    Thanks for all of the great comics. I just reread "The New Adventures of Abraham Lincoln" and was really impressed (again). This was all I could think of that would work both vertically and horizontally ... (other than the "it was all a dream" panel which I'm trying to avoid.)

  • The figure in the back seat is Brian Boitano, who says "I'm going to kill you, Carl! HA HA HA!" The panel could be deliberately vague as to its location, so Boitano could be attacking Carl in the bar or in the car.

    Thanks again and I'm looking forward to all of your future work.

Doug Waldron

  • Close-up of Carl, eyes bulging as someone strangles him from behind: "Gah!"

    I can't believe that's the only suggestion I can think of.


    I love your wonderfully creative site. I was lured here by your chess comic, and can't stop exploring it.

  • Carl leaps out of the car and knocks his shadowy vampire shopkeeper dad into next week with a side kick / salchow to the chest.

Buckley Danger

    It seems to me that the special thing about this panel is the intersection of Bert and Ethel plotlines. So how about something like...

  • Bert and Ethel exchange glances over Carl's car. Ethel: Bert? I thought you were dead. Bert: Ethel? I thought I was drunk.

    This opens some nice possibilities for either happy or violent reunions.

Mary Beek

  • He'd probably call a taxi to escape from this nightmare

Caaaaat Jaaaan Roxaaaane

    France, huh? Didja meet Robert Crumb?

  • Bert lurches forward at Carl, grabing his shoulder, and in a dark, dripping word balloon, says "Are you married yet?"
  • Bert covers Carl's eyes, glares his teeth and playfully mutters "Guess who I am!" Mom, who is standing somewhere behind them, notices her long dissappeared husband, shouts "BERT!" Carl, who really wants his Dad to get his hands off his eyes, replies cluelessly "ummm-Bert??"
  • "Carl! Look out!!" warns Mom. But little did she realize that shouting to an already dense person is not very helpful when warning them against psycopaths, who as she closes, sinks his carnivorous teeth into Carls flesh.

[Actually, the only time I met Crumb was in Finland, oddly enough. France was great. I received the critics' prize for the French translation of Understanding Comics. Said translation sold out and is going back to press. I did several interviews, a panel on comics and the internet at the Angouleme school, hung out w/ Bryan Talbot, Tom Hart, Leela Corman saw the city walls (very cool) and ate some really great food. And thankfully we didn't have to pay for any of it 'cause Boy, are we Broke! --Scott]

Miles Kear

    It took me a moment to realize who Brian Boitano was...

  • I think that Carl should be decked out in as traditional mexican mariachi, with the ice skates and everything. He could say "Your zombie powers are no match for the mighty mariachi!"


Diego Ibarra

  • Dramatic, downward-angled Kirby shot of Carl ice-skating towards the camera, bellowing "I'll . . . I'll become an ice skater!"

    My idea is good! Yay!

Markus Gerwinski

    Forgot this one:

  • Someone (Dad?) is tipping on Carl's shoulder from behind. Carl: "?!"

    Scott, je te souhaite un bon sejour chez nous en Europe, particulierement a Angouleme! J'aimerais y etre moi-meme... [Sigh!]

[Dang, where did I put that phrasebook. --Scott]

Chris Shieh

  • "Time to practice my Quadruple Lutz!"

Matthew Johnson

  • Carl throws the beer can away from him, saying, "Away from me, foul Bud!" Perhaps he can hit Mom by mistake.

Jamie Hagstrom

[Whoops. Another one... --Scott]

Steven Edward John

  • Cartman b*tch slaps carl while screaming "Dont infringe on my copyright beeeyaatch!!".


  • CU of Carl's neck, about to be bitten by Bert. Carl: AAAaaahhh!

    Hey Scott, how was Angouleme, in my dear homeland of France? Did you get to meet any interesting people, like Enki Bilal or Margerin?

[Unfortunately not those two. The above response notwithstanding, I was kind of the boy in the bubble for the most part, not knowing anyone. If I'd found Tom and Leela sooner I might have met David B. and Trondheim but no such luck. --Scott]


  • A scene of Carl in furious retreat saying "Run like hell!" (hey we are at a cross-panel, and I refuse to turn either of these plots into a dream!

    On the vertical plot mom could get into the beer filled car herself and start chasing Carl down. On the horizontal...

zoom out