This week's dialogue suggested by Mark Raen.

Art suggested by, um... lots of people! Sort of!
(See below and judge for yourself!)


Since we last met, Reinventing Comics has hit the shelves in comic book stores, I've talked at IBM and at a Hypertext Conference in San Antonio, signed at The Million Year Picnic in Cambridge, Ma, gone the Hospital for Kidney Stones, flown to San Francisco to talk to a Web Design firm and inked a deal for a New Online Comic! (Check CBR on Monday for details about that last one!)

This completes our fifth, pen-ultimate section of Choose Your Own Carl. I'll take a week off to link up this section and construct the new and final chapter.

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again in two weeks!!

Sunday 06/18/2000

T. Campbell

  • Carl's Dad has grabbed Mom and she's going down. She aims a gun at Carl.
    MOM: "No, Carl... only THIS can save you from him NOW!"

Morgan Doninger

  • A shard of glass from the broken beer bottle impales poor Carl in the head.
  • Carl is stepped on by a big pink elephant (I like 'em too.).

Katherine McBeth

  • Mom, panicking, sais:
    That wasn't beer! That was H2SO4, and it's all over me!
  • Mom turns on Carl with a malicious gleam in her eye, and sais:
    And this is for taking my lesbian lover Daisy away from me!
  • Mom turns on Carl etc. and sais:
    And this is for being such a bad boyfriend to your sister Daisy!
  • Suddenly the ground begins to shake, and Satan pops out of the
    ground, pointing at the dead vampire, and sais:
    D@mn you! That was my last one, you B!tch!
  • Suddenly a group of animal rights activists run onto the panel
    You just killed the last of an endangered species! For this you must

    I've had a little trouble submitting these, so hopefully this will work. I just had to do my part to further the gender balence revolution. By the way, great book. My boyfriend and I just picked up RC yesterday. He hasn't started it yet, but I'm on page 96. My compliments to the chef.

Nat Gertler

    After that last panel, there's only one possible panel I can see:

  • Carl gets run over by a milk truck.

    The new Moxy Fruvous limited-release album has a song about cell mitosis. How cool is that?

[I want them to do a song about the naked mole-rat. --Scott]

Craig J. Clark

  • Mom, brandishing broken end of beer bottle, ready to strike; Carl is cowering. MOM: A little presumptuous, aren't we, son?

James "DexX" Dominguez

    I was told that, long ago, before I started playing this fun game, Carl's mother died. I remembered reading it, but didn't know if it linked up. It does. Well, in one story-stream. Of course, we all know what that means...

  • Ethel leads Carl by the hand, down into rectangular hole in the ground (maybe with stairs leading down). We can see a hint of a familiar tombstone at the end of the hole. Ethel says: "Come Carl, it is time to sleep." Although it would be tricky with line art, adding a gaunt cast to her features would be good.
  • Carl is digging his own grave, and looking unhappy about it. Ethel stands over him, gun in hand, saying: "I warned you. Now keep digging!"
  • Carl does a panicked double take at the next frame, and yells, "Mom! Look!" Ethel replies, "Oh deal with it."
  • Carl stares stupidly into the distance, saying something like, "Well, I'm glad that's over!" He doesn't notice his father advancing behind him, and his mother sprawled on the ground clutching her throat.
  • As above, but he is being stalked by both his father and his recently-converted mother, who is sporting one helluva hickey.
  • Carl inexplicably finds himself up to his waist in quicksand. Appropriate dialog: "Gah!" "What the...?" "You've gotta be kidding me!"
  • This would take some cramming, but it is almost dialogue-free, and I _LIKE_ it... Carl and Ethel stand by a fresh grave, with the headstone "RIP BERT". Carl is slipping over backwards into an open grave. Appropriate exclamations: "Gah!" "Oops!" "Woah!" Whaddaya think? Too much for a single frame?
  • Carl turns into a fish. Actually, that's not a real suggestion. I was being silly. Did you notice?

    Good luck with all the last minute things for RC, and all the promo work, Scott. I hope it becomes an industry Bible, just like its predecessor.

Michael Patrick

  • Carl's mother in her berzerker rage goes after him with the same bottle that killed his father. Mom: How's this for irony!!
  • Carl: Let's here it for beer!!! Hip-hip-hooray! I'm going to drink until I DIE!!!!!
  • Carl Gets his head cut off by the Budweiser Chopper--piloted by Daisy!!

Jeff White

  • Mom takes the remaining piece of the top of the beer bottle, points the sharp end at Carl, saying with an angry face "You're next!!!" Carl can only get very wide-eyed (as in the "LIAR!" frame)

    Has anyone noticed how we made Carl's mother out to be some kind of serial or psychotic killer in this section?

Doug Waldron

    Wow; I completely forgot Mom may or may not be dead in this timeline. Ah well. Continuity, shmontinuity. That's what I always say.

  • Mom: "You want irony, Carl? How about this irony corkscrew?!" STAB STAB! [Get it?]
  • A beer truck ("BUD") drives over them. Driver: "Now that's irony!"
  • Flashforward -- Carl, now an old man, sits in a rocking chair talking to his grandson: "And that's why I quit drinking and lived to a ripe old age."
  • A safe falls on them.


    Ah, another strip finished...

  • Mom brandishes bottle at Carl... "No! THIS is ironic!"
  • Carl gets his by a passing pigeon

    OK, this week is a toughie. Please excuse me...


  • A big shelf full of "Deus ex machina" brand beer collapses on Carl.

Benjamin Woo

  • There seems to be a lot of flying shrapnel off that beer bottle. A piece of air-borne glass, forged by Lucifer himself, could embed itself in Carl's eyeball. Naturally,the glass has alcohol on it, so it's not just sharp, it stings somethin' fierce, too. Carl: "Argh! My eye! It's"

Matt Apple

    CYOC is not something you should read while intoxicated.

  • Immediately after Carl says "Saved by a bottle of beer how ironic!" Another drunk driver comes along and runs him over. Now that's double-dog irony!

[Not to be read while driving, though... --Scott]

Max Katz

    The Satan thing was a lot like a Jack T. Chick comic.

  • Mom proceeds to smash Carl's head in with the bottle.
  • Carl yelling "My family's driving me crazy! I'm gonna kill myself!"
  • "Oh, no! It's time to die again! And I never even got to watch 'Carnival of Souls!"

Mia Descandion

    I'm watching the A-team at the moment, if that has any importance to anyone

  • Vampire rises up with beer bottle, and smashes carl. Vampire says "And how Ironic that you should be KILLED with a beer bottle after you were saved by it" or something to that nice effect.
  • Carl slips on a bandaid and falls directly onto a needle filled with penecillin, thus killing him. (see, the irony is that the beer bottle saves him, but the life saving penecillin kills him. That's why I'm smart, damnit!)
  • A pack of wild trained circus lemurs attack carl, for the stench of beer turns them into merciless killing machines
  • an Elephant driving a fire truck accidently hits Carl.
  • Carl's mom, who by the way is a school teacher (she moonlights as a vampire slayer),smacks carl on the head with a beer bottle for improper usage of the term ironic and for also leaving out the subject in both sentances (WHO was saved by the beer bottle?)
  • He is hit by a ten pound bag of potatos (which he's allergic to) which his mother clainms to be very ironic, thus continuing the circle of irony

    Did you know that monkeys live in trees, and that I am a mentally compentent person over the age of three? Crazy, isn't it?


  • (flying glass shard from beer bottle fatally wounds Carl in the eye) Carl: Killed by the beer bottle that saved me! How ironic!!

frank episale

  • mom approaches menacingly, with broken bottle in hand. "it's not over just yet, son...."

Kean Soo

    Oooh... Hope this one makes it in...

  • A falling shelf of beer bottles crushes Carl. Carl: "Oh, the irony!!!"

Eschel Hamel

  • Show his mom then killing him with the same bottle, and have Carl comment something like "How doubly ironic to be killed by the same bottle that saved me!"

Markus Gerwinski

  • Mom turns towards Carl, menacingly raising the broken bottle: "Saved?"
  • Carl, looking down at his dead undead Dad: "Well, that's the end, I guess..." (Watch this phrase in context with the next panel) From above, a flower pot is falling, headed for Carl's head.
  • Carl: "Wait... to whom am I speaking?!" Everything around him is turning into weird impressions of Mom and Dad, Bud, keys, cars, tombstones, some computer freaks playing CYOC, and the Grim Reaper (wearing Scott's glasses?)
  • Everything but Carl bursts into flames.

    Alright, fellow Carls... We're going to finally enter the last, ultimate 6th section of CYOC, and I want us to mobilize anything we have: Momsters, Undads, pink elephants, flying Carl twins, heroic Daisies, tons of Bud... and in at least one panel I want to see Scott himself! Come on, folks, let's make our last section our hardest one!

Nathan Kuruna

  • For this panel, I see Carl slamming into a wall or pile of crates (labled Bud) that either kill him on impact or start to fall on him avalanche style.

    I'm only on page 35 of "Reinventing Comics" and it's already AWESOME!!!!!

David Lun

    Scott, you are one of the most gifted people I don't know.

  • Panel shows shot of Dad smacking stake out her hand and stating "Hahahaha! Foolish mortal did you think you could defeat me?" Next Panel show's her saying "No, I can't defeat you, but that can!" Next Panel Carl's dad crushed under beer truck. Panel after shows Carl saying "What luck! Saved by beer twice!" Panel shows Beer Truck Exploding Final Panel is the RIP grave panel.

    Keep up the good work Scott or else.

Ben Rossi

  • Carl gets stabbed by glass from the broken bottle. He says "Killed by a shard of glass!! That's just bad luck!!" This is, of course, a subtle parody of the criticisms of the lyrics to Alanis's song Ironic. If everyone remembers, none of the examples she used were actually ironic, they were examples of bad luck. The last sentence coudl also be replaced with "That just sucks!!" or anything that'll get this suggestion used!! C'mon!!!

Bobbo Barker

  • RIP. Bert. I like gravestones.

Josiah Rowe

  • Ethel attacks Carl with the beer bottle, crying, "And THAT'S for breaking the fourth wall!"

    Am almost through "Reinventing Comics". As interesting as I expected... and I may email some comments later, if it's not too forward!

Andreas Dieberger

  • Wouldn't it be fun to have a reference to Understanding Comics: The guy with the axe from page 66 appears behind carl and yells "now you die"

Noah Luck Easterly

    Cool Web Site. I just finished reading 'Reinventing Comics.' It gave me a lot to think about, but I liked it alot. Thanks.

  • Carl should run to the graveyard, across the street from the liquor store/bar and hide behind a gravestone. Maybe a single panel of the gravestone with him standing behind it, saying "Whew, I got away, now to find a hiding spot!"

Dan Pollard

    This is sooo cool, i've always wanted to write comics!!!

  • Carls mom turns with a sadistic gleam in her eye and says, `Who said you're safe????` whilst brandishing the broken bottle.

gregg lamse

  • a giant bottle of beer falls out of the sky, crushing Carl. "Killed by a bottle of beer. How ironic."

Jeff Clear

    Haven't suggested anything in a while. What will we do after section 6 is over? (Choose you own Daisy?) Are you tired of doing Carl every week, Scott?

  • This is a perfect time for a sound link. Carl gets hit by the Beer truck. The radio in the truck is playing the totally non-ironic Alanis Morisette song "Isn't it Ironic?"
  • Same idea, but Carl gets run over by a team of Clydsedales.

    Hmmmmmm....Choose your own Daisy.....Daisy Duck or Daisy Duke?

[Tired?? Me?? Ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha! Ha ha! ...Oy... --Scott]

Katherine McBeth

    Alright, this is the second time that I've writen these suggestions. The first time they didn't show up. So, here's hopin' I remember them all.

  • Mom, terified, screams: That wasn't beer! That was H2S04, and it's all over me!
  • Mom turns on Carl with a malicious gleam in her eye and sais: And this is for taking my lesbian lover Daisy away from me!
  • Mom turns on Carl etc. and sais: And this is for being such a bad boyfriend to your sister Daisy.
  • Suddenly the ground begins to shake, and Satan pops up from the earth, and pointing at the dead vampire, sais: D@mn you! That was my last one, you b!tch!
  • Suddenly a group of crazed animal activists run into the panel screaming: You just killed the last of an endangered species! For this you must die!

    Well, that's it. I just figured I'd do my part to further the gender balence revolution. By the way great book. My boyfriend and I picked up a copy of RC yesterday. He hasn't realy started it yet, but I'm on page 96. My compliments to the chef.

Greg Crothers

  • Mom looks up, a fit of bloodlust clearly upon her face as she stabs at Carl with the bottle. "Irony? You don't know the HALF of it!" she screams as she takes down her beloved son.

Chris Holly

  • After being "saved" by the beer bottle, it slips from his mothers hand and shatters on his forehead.


  • Carl's mother goes to hug him having saved his life and in another twist of irony she accidentally stabs him with the broken bottle of beer.

Chris Hall

    Wow! This is madness!

  • Carl slipping on some liquid (presumably beer), shards of glass around his feet.
  • As above but with just a foot on top of a bottle on its side. Leg is clearly off ballence.
  • Mom smashing him over the head with a bottle. Mom: "No more drinking young man!"

    "Enter: Thor." Any suggestion over 11,462 words. Well, okay...12,462. ... Ok, obviously some inside jokes I'm missing. You're books are great Scott! Thanks! Hmmm.... One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven...

Bill Schlimme

  • A giant beer bottle falls out of the sky and lands on top of Carl. (Think the house landing in the Wizard of Oz)
  • Mom, flashing a viscious pair of fangs of her own: "You want ironic? I got ironic for you!"
  • WUMP! A Budweiser truck runs Carl down, for no apparent reason.
  • Brian Boitano kills Carl, not for any apparent reason, but just to tie all the disparate plot threads together.

Joseph Prisco

  • [A shard of glass from the beer bottle hits Carl in the head.] Carl: Arrgh!
  • [Mother leaping at Carl, holding the broken bottle; Carl looks terrified] Mother: Yes, I saved you... to kill for MYSELF!"
  • [Carl in foreground, his father rising up and leaping at him in the background, knocking his mother back] Carl: Wait a minute! Beer bottles can't kill vampires!
  • [Carl points a gun at his head] Carl: But I still can't take the guilt! [Note: See Section 3]
  • [Image of Carl as an old man, sitting in a chair, talking to grandkids, who look startled because...] Carl: And that's how I... URK! [Carl is having a heart attack

Karin Kross

  • (Carl's Mom advances on him with the broken bottle.) CARL: Um...Mom?

Max Batchelder

  • Mom hits Carl on the head with the bottle of beer, killing him.


  • CARL: Let's all go drink and drive to celebrate said irony! carl stands proudly holding a beer bottle to the air

Scott Mooney

  • A long shard of glas from mom's broken beer bottle has imbedded itself in Carl's head or back. (a little obvious, I know).

Mark Raen

    Just read your new book, and I have one thing to say: EXCELLENT!!!

  • Carl: he starts to walk away from the scene, looks up and says "must be my lucky night", then falls into an open manhole in the street.

    Or, he could get hit by a falling meteor.

Ellen and Jason Cheeseman-Meyer

  • Carl points at the gravestone panel on the right. Unnoticed by him an anvil/piano/whatever is falling towards his head.
    Carl - "Man, those panels give me the creeps."

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